Food and Recipes

You have two problems: no plans for Thanksgiving Dinner, and an abundance of just terrible Pokemon. Why not have one problem solve the other?

You know what they say: You can’t screw up pizza! But we’re gonna try.

You better hope your colon is in order, because I’m about to blow the shit straight out of you.

Turn your stupid fat American child into a glorious, perfectly-behaved little Madeline thanks to a strict French diet!

Why waste time boiling stacks of the flayed dead so you can suckle the runoff when you can cut out the middle man and get all the nutrients you need direct from the source?

Try these handy tricks to both terrify and confuse them into submission.

These delicious, healthful activated cashews are so godammned good you’ll literally feel like you’re getting pounded by Mr. Peanut.

Relationships can be tough, but when you find your perfect other half, you’ll be amazed by how easy things can be. I personally feel so lucky to be in a relationship that’s so intuitive and carefree. I am, of course, talking about my relationship with this barbecue pulled pork macaroni and cheese. It’s a simple […]

Hello again, readers! We here at Bunny Ears love trying out new diets and telling you about the results. Juice cleanses, the five-bite system, raw foods—we’re here for them all. And as much as I’d love to review a new trendy diet for you today, I hit a bit of a snafu up front: The only thing […]

As a good-hearted, courageous princess, I totally understand that a diet may not be feasible to the working woman/peasant. I know many of you have children to rear and like, goats to tend? I’ve definitely seen goats out there, so my guess is you’re tending them— because peasant men are useless, amiright? See, we’re the […]

If you’re interested in wellness trends, you’ve most likely heard of Bulletproof coffee—A.K.A. adding healthy fats, like organic butter or ghee, to your daily cup of java. This slight adjustment to your morning routine allegedly fuels both your mind and body while also keeping you satiated longer, which means less potential for unhealthy snacking later […]

We’re so excited about our favorite green smoothie at Bile, Los Angeles’s opulent private juice dojo, that we decided to try making one at home. The object of our obsession is the Manaus, a jade green superfood confection made with a touch of poison dart frog venom for paralyzing the face’s unnecessary smiling muscles. We […]

You know what they say: Candy is dandy, but the call of the void will send you spiraling down into an existential crisis. No matter how much you try to avoid it, there will be times in your life when you’ll question the meaning of everything and, indeed, the very nature of the universe. So […]

When Bunny Ears asked me to handle our harvest menu planning, I was thrilled. I love entertaining, and fall is my favorite season to do it. I didn’t just want to create a BEAUTIFUL feast, I wanted to create my DREAM feast. So to inspire myself, I loaded up on Benadryl and rode that pink […]

Unless you’ve been living in a cave or some other appropriately yonic remote dwelling, you’ve probably heard about the practice of placentophagia. Celebrities from Kim Kardashian to Mayim Bialik have scarfed the ol’ babybag. Eating the placenta after giving birth may help you replenish your iron supplies or boost your mood. What you may not […]

We all want to eat like celebs. They look so good, but they have access to all sorts of private chefs and expensive ingredients that most of us can’t afford, right? Wrong! Look no further than your local Yankee Candle to find out exactly what you need to do in order to eat like some […]

I have always considered myself a sex-positive woman. I have needs, and I’m not afraid to admit it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t treat my (extremely casual, no strings-attached) partner, Liam, with dignity and kindness. We might not be a couple (which again, I’m 100% okay with), but I don’t ever want him to […]

For my darling nephew’s six-and-a-half birthday party, I had planned a quaint but fun-filled theme of outdoor camping, just like they do in movies. We would use artificial grass, earthy perfumes, and young saplings to transform the yacht into a lightly wooded glen. My nephew and his classmates would frolic amid child-sized log cabins and […]

After spending an entire weekend indoors baking and decorating like a madwoman, my Pinterest foodie page is off the frickin’ charts right now. Look at this pie. Look at it. When it comes to pretty food, I am Michelangelo. But just as you do not touch the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, none of my […]

The world of today is a scary place. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, but if you’re like us, you’re pretty sure it’ll bring a hail of nuclear missiles that will wipe out all semblance of human progress in one white-hot instant. Also like us, you’ve probably been prepping for that moment of nuclear […]

Why Is Everyone Talking About Eggs? Eggs have become such a hot-button issue in our society. Are they good for you? Do they have too much cholesterol? How runny is over-medium supposed to be? And most importantly, as I’ve recently gathered from hushed conversations in coffee shops that I had to strain to barely eavesdrop […]

Juice cleanses are a quick and effective method to trim down on dead weight and stagnant energy. Why not give yourself a break from all that oppressive and exhausting chewing you’ve been doing and treat yourself to a juice cleanse that will help you restart your system and find out who your true friends are […]

Trust me, we at Bunny Ears hear you when you talk about weight-loss frustration. For legal reasons, we can’t disclose how we hear you or whether or not we have access to your webcam, but that is beside the point. What if we told you that you could forget dieting… forever? It’s true! We’ve put […]

Guys. GUYS. I really need to tell you about this amazing new cat food diet and how it has improved my life. This isn’t another one of my fads. This has undeniable results. I’ve saved so much money, lost so much weight, and no longer fret about pretty much anything. And it’s fostered a stronger […]

Hey grown ups! You’re mature, responsible, and prepared for life. You eat food that’s food! Right? That’s why flavored lip glosses aren’t a cruel test of temptation for you, you competent person you. Who are we kidding? You’re gonna eat this shit. You’re gonna slop it on your face and eat it. You’re gonna lick […]

  It’s rumored that Sigmund Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” We get you, Sigmund. Trying to find deeper meaning in random things is a fool’s errand – unless you’re talking about healthy and delicious vegetables that will make you feel like you’re looking at Deepak Chopra. I know I’m not […]

We all know how important it is to detox daily. You need to flush out all the harmful, negative toxins you collected from the craft gin and kale flights from the night before, but simply sweating them out in your home sauna isn’t going to separate the Dijon. You need to be totally invested in […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better to […]

“Fortifying.” “Disgusting.” “Illegally procured hyena meat.” These are just some of the words and phrases Silicon Valley elites are using to describe Splopr, the hot new meal slurry they believe is necessary now. Packed full of consonants and something called “unfiltered nature liquids,” Splopr is the essence of what Silicon Valley considers healthy. Yes, it also […]

I don’t know about you, but I really appreciate a diet that has a rich cultural and historical legacy. The kind of diets pioneered by The Bible, cavemen, or bisexual 19th century poets. I’m crazy about them all. So imagine my excitement when I acquired a diet book from an extinct culture. The curator of the […]

It’s summertime! And I don’t care how hot it is, sometimes I just want to dance…with joy after eating a big scoop of grapefruit marmalade. It’s a little bit sweet and incredibly bitter, just like my meemaw who taught me the recipe. This summer jam can be enjoyed in all your favorite summer spots. POOLSIDE […]

My life is so hectic that I need all my nutrients crammed into me as efficiently as possible. That’s why I never leave the house before having my protein shake suppository inserted. I got so excited when my dog sitter’s doula told me about the wonders of Sujuk that I just needed to buy the […]

Hey guys, I’m so glad that you came to check out my fave sugar cookie recipe! I know you probably just want to scroll down to the ingredients and get the recipe, but I’m going to make that as difficult for you as possible. Some might say I’m holding the recipe hostage. But instead of […]

I needed to lose some weight. The problem was I didn’t know where to start: Atkins, Keto, intermittent fasting—to name just a few. The more I researched, the more confused I got. Which is why I decided to try them all to figure out which works best for me and my body. And now I […]

Let’s face it: It’s not easy being a vegan on the go. You can’t just throw a bunch of produce in your purse and walk around like you’re Bugs fuckin’ Bunny, chompin’ on a carrot all day. Yes, you’re an above average human, but you still need to snack every now and then like the […]

Everyone knows the best impulse purchases involve fertility, copious doctors’ visits, and disclosing your social security number on medical forms. And is there any better way to beat the summer heat than taking your freshly harvested, frozen eggs in a cooler to all your summer picnics? We don’t think so! That’s why we at Bunny […]

I used to be like you. When I was a child, I could be satisfied with a simple vanilla cupcake. Oh, how wistful I am for those days of carefree innocence. As I grew older, my palate matured, and I craved the apple cinnamon crumble. I longed for the orange chocolate creme brulee. I was […]

What’s better than a soft, delicious cookie? A soft, delicious cookie without dairy and gluten, of course! And that’s where my super simple five-ingredient peanut butter cookies come in. That’s right—all you’ll need for this full-proof recipe is eggs, sugar, vanilla, peanut butter, and Mother’s elusive love. The first four ingredients are simple, but you don’t want the […]

Both prenatal and postnatal self-care are vital when it comes to motherhood. The right foods, supplements, and healthful habits can make all the difference when your little one arrives, and this is perhaps especially true when it comes to avoiding postpartum depression. While there’s no one way to 100% guarantee that postpartum depression won’t happen […]

Ever since it’s been scientifically proven that plastic straws are the number-one and only threat to our Mother Earth, we as a society have come together to annihilate every last shred of this tubular capitalist sin and herald a new age where the oceans are completely and forever safe. Congratulations! But no victory is without […]

2010 was a dark year: There was that earthquake in Haiti, Ronnie James Dio died, and Four Loko got banned. Sure, it came back, but only as a shell of its former self, with none of the delicious stimulants that got us totally lit. But you’re older now, wiser. You’re horrified that you used to […]

Alright, listen the fuck up. So you want to learn how to make my perfect fried rice? Of course you do. My perfect fried rice is nirvana incarnate. It’s made grown men weep. I once fed it to a Michelin star chef and after three bites he killed himself because his own life’s work had […]

By now, you’ve surely heard of Cosmopolitan’s infamous “eat a doughnut off a dick” sex tip. It’s been much mocked by the Internet, as it rightly should, because who in their right mind still eats doughnuts? All that processed sugar, all those poisonous trans fats? Miss me on that train, fellow dick suckers. For those […]