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This weekend, I watched my friend get married.  Waiting in line to greet the bride and groom, I overheard some of the best wedding advice from an attending cousin from Florida: “Got a hole? Fill a hole.”  Most of my helpful advice is delivered with my middle finger, but when faced with a blushing bride …

We know we’re going to catch some heat over this month’s pick for color of the month (get ready to weather the storm of all those angry pro-Orange comments, everyone). But pound for pound, no other color on the spectrum of visible light brought their A-game quite like that plucky little quartet from Oklahoma City, …

Summer is officially here, so astrally project yourself into your monthly Horoscope Guide. Whether you intend to have a summer of love or a summer of deep thought and solitude, the stars have their own plan for you, and all it takes is a receptive ear to listen to the Universe’s motherly whisper. Aquarius: As …

Some dilemmas in life can only be answered by analyzing the words of the great thinkers of humanity. People often turn to religion when pondering the big questions, but as a practical person who finds value in tangible thought structures rather than spiritual reconnaissance, I’m much more likely to turn to philosophy to answer the …

Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Do …

One of the best things about being obscenely loaded is that you can ensure your children also enjoy the benefits of immense wealth, thus perpetuating a rock-solid cycle of compounding privilege that will echo down your bloodline for years to come. However, be wary of becoming not just a helicopter parent but the even more …

In an effort to preserve water and single-handedly save the entire state of California, I’ve been seeking out alternatives to wasteful aquatic baths. My dear friend Sheila told me about something called “sound baths” at our last solstice circle, and I was eager to hear more. I decided to invite Sheila over for some crabgrass …

We know many of you read this blog to stay up-to-date on all the hot Hollywood trends. In the past we’ve broken such fashion explosions as iridescent capes, the latest in mascot chic, and plastic wallet chains before they hit boutiques. Our goal is to give our readers the opportunity to get in as early …

Sunburn. Rain. A sudden drop in temperature. Your head does not deserve these things. Stress. Imbalance. Toxicity. Your body and soul do not deserve these things, either. It’s all enough to give someone a headache. And that’s where the Felicitus L-9 comes in. Maintain your internal balance, and indulge only positive environments, and you will …

Poaching eggs is difficult, and so is marriage. They’re both hard to keep together. Any time you poach an egg, it could end up a runny, drippy mess, just like my husband Sean’s penis. Hi, Sean! Your shower technique is bad and your genitals are disgusting. Anyway, here’s a poached egg hack that will totally …

Listen, you have to throw at least a few birthday parties for those sticky, squirmy parasites who insist on calling you “Mommy” no matter how many times you tell them your actual name. If you don’t, your mom-friends will start to get resentful of how many cupcakes they’ve forked out in the past, and it’s …

Have you and your daughter been drifting apart? Growing up is tough and can put a strain on a mother-daughter relationship, as can the mania and depression caused by your bipolar disorder. What better way to bridge the divide than to whisk her away on the tropical road trip of a lifetime! Sure, you could …

Maybe you live in a troubled nation where the forces of evil reign over the powerless; where the corrupt feed on a diet of fear and hatred; where information is suppressed and dissenters are silenced; where the defenseless and the undesirables are expelled, imprisoned, or worse. Or maybe you don’t live in America or in …

Whenever I’m home in Missoula, Montana and I find myself in need — whether I’m finally ready for new curtains or having a serious emotional crisis—I head on down to the local Target. Contained within these hallowed halls is everything you could possibly want (except fresh food, you have to cross the street to the …

I’m on a path towards self-discovery. What is happiness? How can I live my best life? Should I have a mantra? To find these answers — and so much more — I decided to shadow someone I admire.  Someone who demands both love and respect. Someone my parents are proud to call their own. I’m of …

So you want to announce the gender of your unborn child, and you want that announcement to be as garish as possible. We totally get you. But how do you make your gender reveal party stand out amidst balloons, confetti, piñatas, and cupcakes? You have to think big — as big as the belly that’s about …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Like a warm, fuzzy memory of a junior-high friendship. The Guest: Eddie Kaye Thomas. The Lowdown: Eddie Kaye Thomas has known Mack since middle school. Eddie also knows Stew, and they all discuss their first impressions of …

Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Yo, I’m not going to apologize for being a modern man. If you’re still listening to AM radio, paying …

While I’m at home, enjoying my maternity leave, I’m reflecting on all of the great looks I’ve worn throughout my pregnancy. Let me tell you, maternity fashion isn’t as easy as it may seem. But, take my advice, and you too can look like the most adorable mom-to-be out there. I say, be proud of …

If you look up the definition of “wallflower” in the dictionary, my picture should be next to it, provided it’s some kind of picture book dictionary. I hate confrontation and avoid it at all cost. My parents thought I was intellectually disabled because I didn’t speak until I was five years old. I’m not stupid; …

Do you have a hard time stopping yourself from endless late night binges? Do you find that even hearing the word “exercise” evokes an involuntary gag reflex? And are you looking to lose weight? Here’s a diet I bet you haven’t tried yet: the wisdom teeth removal diet! Now, if you’ve already had yours removed, …

Tad and Brita Carlson have always loved to put on a show. The brother-sister creative team from Burbank, California has gone from puerile backyard productions of Equus to some of the most elaborate flash mobs of the 21st century. In 2017, Tad and Brita produced a promposal flash mob which involved over 300 extras, two …

Today’s generation of parents face a very difficult decision: how do you define your relationship with your child? With the omnipresence of social media, the dangers of the digital age, and changing social norms, there’s more pressure than ever to be more like a “friend” to your children rather than a “guardian.” Besides, if you …

If you’re heading over to London-town for the royal wedding, you’ll need to be prepared for a subtle but definite culture shock. While English is the unofficial language of both the UK and the US, that whole revolution thing drove a bit of a linguistic wedge between us. But fear not! We’ve compiled a list …

There’s a reason every Disney movie ends with a royal wedding — it’s every little girl’s dream to be a princess, by marriage if at all possible. (Otherwise, you’re probably the villain.) Well, who says playing princess has to end in childhood? Your therapist? What do they know? With just a quick trip to Target, …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! It’s no mystery why, because this place is awesome. But there are lots of other mysteries in the world… The Lowdown: Mack is drinking champagne with ice to kick off a show all about mysteries. As usual, …

It’s an age-old question: If you could have dinner with any famous person, living or dead, who would it be? For a lot of women living that #blessed Hollywood lifestyle, the answer is obviously Marilyn Monroe. Not only was she talented, intelligent, and troubled, she probably has some bomb makeup tips. Well, for those of …

The term “comfort zone” may sound like a positive thing, but our lives can quickly stagnate when we don’t expand our own personal comfort zones on a regular basis. Fortunately, fear, as uncomfortable as it can be, is one of the world’s great motivators. Which is why for the sake of our ongoing personal development, …

We have all been there. You just got laid off from your job and you are feeling a little blue about it. Even during a dark time like being unemployed you have to remember that self care is very important. You may be rapidly running out of funds, but if you don’t feel great about …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …

I freed myself from the trappings of modernity to live amongst nature, and it was the healthiest decision I ever made. Here, in my simple cabin in the woods, the wilderness is my antidepressant, the herbs I grow are my medication, and my nagging cough is trivial compared to the majestic beauty that surrounds me …

For years people have been whispering about the therapeutic properties of sticking your entire first in your mouth. It’s been called Mouth Fisting, and the benefits are both spiritual and physical. It’s a fun and relaxing pastime and it stretches out your jaw so you can fit even more cheeseburgers in there. I’d had a …

This time of year most Moms are gearing up to partake in the Mother’s Day tradition of being forced to pretend uncooked pasta is a viable fashion choice. One woman is hoping her kids get the hint that all she wants is for them to shut the fuck up for a few hours and some …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Any questions? The Lowdown: It’s question and answer day, and the guys hope nobody will sue them for any reason! Now that the shows been going a while, and both hosts have social media, they thought it …

Finding a signature scent can be daunting. The fragrance you choose to wear on a daily basis is one of the first things others notice about you when you enter a room — and often what they’ll remember longest after you leave. So it’s key that your signature scent captures your essence. And because there …

I don’t think of myself as an especially wise person, but occasionally I do have revelations. This morning, for example, I told the barista making my latte that I had just realized something very important. “You can’t go through life with your emergency brake on,” I said. “It just creates friction and then when you …

So, here’s the story of how I stumbled upon this cool thing called “the bus:” it all started last week when I had to get my private plane and BMWs serviced at the same time. Ugh! Everyone’s worst nightmare! Even worse, my chauffeur was on “leave” for “emergency heart surgery.” Such an unreliable man. I …

Avian toast was created out of necessity to take control of my diet as well as controlling my urge to throttle anything anytime the news is on. Being from the South brings its own set of standards; I’m self-reliant, rustic, and there’s nothing I enjoy more than breaking bread with family and friends. I can …