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Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about …

After a long day of goat yoga and apple cider vinegar colonics, it can be hard to get to sleep. Just because you’ve gone to bed doesn’t mean you’re at rest. Here at Bunny Ears, we love capping off our nighttime routine by flicking it to a meditation. Specifically, a meditation read by Logan Coleman, …

A lovingly crafted school lunch serves an important function in your child’s life, sending the message to the rest of the children that their mothers are inferior to you. Do you want to send your precious baby to school in a sparkling Tesla with fresh gourmet entrees or a filthy Yaris full of processed meat cubes? …

We get pretty excited around here when a new health and beauty trend sweeps the nation. It gives us the chance to write off excessive pampering sessions as a work expense. (You’ll never catch us, Uncle Sam!) Our latest obsession might sound a little dangerous at first, but trust us, it’s only very dangerous. This …

Warren, this is Matt. Yes. That Matt. Craig the intern fucked up this week and had to go visit his mom or something who is in the hospital or something equally lame so here I am, at an undisclosed location, dictating into my iPhone,,, no the word, COMMA. Not happy with this at all, Craig. …

Life is so extra. Hot yoga and influencer parties. Yurts, cockroach milk, and these vagina eggs. Enough already! Taking the time to unplug and unwind can rejuvenate your body and mind. I decided to take a little time to downsize and de-clutter my life and focus what really matters. Small space living is all the rage, …

Just like fashion, the medical world is ever-evolving at an ever-increasing pace. The diseases of yore, like syphilis and tuberculosis, had their moments for entire decades, sometimes even centuries. But these days, you can hardly catch the latest sexy yet pitiable disease, much less cure it, before the next big thing comes along. Last year, …

Food trends may come and go, but the foods you ate as a child ironically never go out of style. Most importantly, our bodies recognize the spiritual nutrients of nostalgic foods and manifest repair on a cellular level, returning us to our younger, healthier selves. Scientific facts like these help experts (like me!) recommend a …

What’s the best way for a millennial to relax after a long week of killing our nation’s greatest industries? Why, condiment pie, of course! Condiment pie is a beautiful trend that combines all the wholesome goodness of regular pie with spending zero money. Here’s how you make it: Step One: Save Your Old Pizza And …

Listen up, bitch. I’ve had just about enough of your shit. As your sex therapist, I find it deeply concerning and frankly suspicious that you still can’t manage to have vaginal orgasms. I don’t care that you don’t pay me or even know how I keep getting into your house. What’s important is that I …

A walk in the woods is good for more than finding a moment to reconnect with the natural world, so says Rodrigo Montoya, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, who advocates for regular reconnections with the outdoors as a means of stress relief. It’s not just his research that makes him …

It’s that time of year again! Summer—when the days are getting longer and the air smells of sunscreen and pit sweat. And while the season is almost synonymous with vacation-time, there’s plenty of us out there who realistically won’t be taking any time off. Maybe you don’t trust your incompetent coworkers enough to keep your …

Everything old is new again: unvaccinated children, unfiltered water, and now, corsets! Thanks to celebrities like the literal hourglass in Aladdin, waist training and corsetry are back. We’re always on-trend here at Bunny Ears, so we’ve retained a staff corsetiere. Gertrude may be severe, but she gets results! We can’t wait to teach you how …

Meditation trains the mind just like fitness trains the body. Many meditation techniques exist — so how do you learn how to meditate? I will tell you: DIAL INTO YOUR CONCENTRATION Concentration meditation involves focusing on a single point.  Allow yourself to release any tension from the BILLS, BILLS, BILLS you have and remember that you are an INDEPENDENT WOMAN! This …

A good man has a tough exterior and a heart of gold. A great man has a body sculpted out of chicken wire and covered in old paste-soaked newspapers. That’s right, folks, I’m talkin’ paper mache. I met my first husband, Clarke while studying abroad in Paris. Clarke was striking, tall, dark, and handsome. He …

I’ve always been a naturally career-driven person. Promotions, raises, jealous water cooler gossip. This is what I live for. Some people choose to focus on their families or whatever, and that’s … fine. But for me, there’s nothing quite like climbing the corporate ladder. The number one key to success is … well, knowing the …

Are you bored of your usual spa vacations to dull tropical paradises? When you’ve seen one white sand beach, you’ve seen them all. The incessant crashing of waves and squawking of seabirds can turn your spa retreat into a spa defeat. That’s why you should plan your next spacation at our hidden gem: the Centralia …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! How’s your health? The Lowdown: Since BunnyEars.com is all about health and well-being, it’s about time we had a podcast on the topic, and it kicks off as Matt and Mack drink a shot and toast each …

It sounds too simple to be true, but science has proven that people are never more mentally and physically fit than when they’re at home. They sleep better. They’re less anxious. They’re still flatulent, but their flatulence is devoid of sound and odor and gains a pleasant, visible tinge of fuchsia. But making a house …

Congratulations, new plant parents! A lot of lifestyle blogs waste your time recommending beautiful containers for your new plant babies, like origami-inspired ceramics or rustic converted claw-foot tubs. We recognize that these things may have their uses, but you know as well we do that you’re not capable of keeping anything alive, so here are some …

We’ve come a long way as a society as far as accepting that bodily perfection, ideally in terms of delicious food items you won’t be allowed to eat, is a requirement for personhood. In 2013, we first admitted that if you don’t have a thigh gap, you’re a garbage human. More recently, it was the …

Blue Ivy. Baby Jessica. The weirdly sexualized Coppertone toddler being molested by a dog. These iconic cover-babies didn’t become household names by accident.  (Well, Baby Jessica falling into the well was probably an accident, but it got her international attention!) Unfortunately, as these babies get older and less squishy, they tend to fall off the …

It was the summer of 2004, a rainy day at Camp Towanic which meant movie day. The day’s feature presentation was Never Been Kissed. It was like the camp gods were mocking me. “Stacy Goldstein got fingered in the boat shack last night and you’ve never even been kissed.” “Did you see Alex Greenblatt and …

Navigating the world of mindful eating can feel confusing at best, and completely overwhelming at worst. From raw veganism, to keto, to intermittent fasting, to the bevy of other “healthful” options out there, it’s often difficult to know which paths are genuinely effective. That’s why, after perusing my 14-year-old nephew’s copy of Siddhartha over Memorial …

A woman’s womb is a sacred temple, full of spiritual energy, mucus, and sometimes one or more human babies. While doctors claim that the act of squeezing life out of our vaginas is “painful,” with potential “complications” like “deadly eclampsia,” I’m here to tell you that you don’t need an inorganic epidural that’s probably filled …

First of all, we here at Bunny Ears would like to say we are SO SORRY for our article about chic summer boots. The men in our office keep the thermostat at a reasonable 40 degrees, so we were unaware of the harm our article about sexy summer boots seems to have caused. Also, we …

At ten a.m. I was in London, taking in the sights of Trafalgar Square. 20 minutes later, I was on the outskirts of Paris, awaiting freshly cooked crepes from the country’s finest pastry chef. By noon, I found myself in Japan, experiencing state-of-the-art technology designed specifically to clean my fartbox. This technology would later come …

There are a lot of pros and cons to hobby farms. I don’t know what they are. I did little to no research before starting a hobby farm, to the detriment of my relationship with my wife, my relationship with my children, and my relationship with the laws of the land. But since I own …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Working on holidays rules! The Guest: Dan Fogler, comics creator and actor. You probably know Dan Fogler as a comedic actor in such movies as Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Balls of Fury. But …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! I really appreciate that I don’t have to work on the actual Fourth of July, because our holiday minisode is the third of July. Except then there’s our Wednesday podcast. I guess I work after all. But …

Ah, Fall. In Upstate New York there isn’t much to look forward to the rest of the year. Our winters are bleak and freezing, and summers are muggy and gross. But we do one thing better than anywhere else: apples. So many apples. We even have apple festivals. Oh, boy. You have not lived until …

Avocado toast is a thing of the past. Welcome to beet toast: the only breakfast toast you’ll need for at least two years. Breakfast is the most healing of all the meals; it sets the tone for your day. I recently heard the phrase “you are what you eat” for the very first time and …

Giving Americans the opportunity to eat better for less wasn’t just a long-term professional goal—it was a spiritual mission, and it can be achieved through volunteer work or charitable donations. Or you could do like I did: Take a shortcut by buying out a health food grocery chain owned by my former college roommate, Chip …

Navigating the current dating landscape, specifically, the “Tinder Game,” can be incredibly confusing. Everyone’s there for a different reason. Some people are looking for real relationships, some people are looking for strange, some people are looking for meaningless hook ups, some people are just seeking attention, and Robert Mueller is super-liking away for who knows …

I volunteered to write about this month’s chosen color of the month assuming it would be a fun and relatively simple task for me…as long as the chosen color wasn’t yellow. Then Craig the Intern called to say the folks in the office had landed on…you guessed it: yellow (which is so stupid considering we …

Guidance. We all seek it, but few can look high beyond the clouds to truly comprehend which direction to go. Luckily, horoscopes are a quick and easy way to attain clarity. So eyes to the fluffy, clouded skies and saddle up as we channel one of our oldest dating apps, the Ouija board, to connect …

The days are getting longer, the sun is shining brighter, and summer adventures are just around the corner. For many of us, that means one thing: a whole new season of fun false idols to worship! Instead of spending your precious time on Earth devoting yourself to things like compassion, charity, or spiritual and/or religious …

I’ve been to the bottom, man. Last night was the fourth straight evening I spent catching z’s in my vehicle. Granted, it’s happened to the best of us, especially us common folk who refuse handouts and breadcrumbs from the 1%. But it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’ve …

Chronic exhaustion is par for the course for the modern parent. Between work, childcare, and all the odds and ends of adulting, it can feel like life is one long “To Do” list. Which is why it’s critical to fuel our bodies. And it’s also why we’re thrilled to introduce you to a 100% natural …

Everyone knows the Western medical industrial complex pumps the American people full of lies along with the occasional life-saving antibiotics. They tell us vaccines are safe, even though we have an entire (officially discredited, whatever) study proving otherwise. They insist that most people have no trouble digesting gluten but refuse to explain why my aura …

Modern science says it takes 30 days to build a new habit, and only 14 days to break one. I have put this into practice and I’m ready to share how I have stopped texting and driving and started driving and masturbating. Texting while driving is a senseless act, but female masturbation should always be celebrated. When life hands you a lemon in the form of an ‘are you …

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! I like being her just where I am, which is the total opposite of what this episode is actually about. Oh well. The Guest: Brenda Song The Lowdown: Did I mention Stewart P. Miller of Columbus, Ohio is …

Great Nana Etna just passed away, and as they propelled her ashes over the tennis courts of her beloved country club, you had a couple of distinct thoughts: Who knew the human body produced that much ash? And also, where the hell am I going to spread mine?! Well we here at Bunny Ears are …