Travel Guides

Hey look, it’s Denver!

Oof, this sand is maybe *TOO* warm!

If you’re in Vegas, you’re going to end up with the body of a dead hooker – either accidentally or on purpose, so it’s best to plan ahead!

You probably wouldn’t even know what to do if you did get into one anyway.

Be prepared to pay one billion dollars for that second checked bag, because things are about to get crazy.

Have you heard of Tanzania? We hadn’t!

I don’t really know how I ended up in Night Vale. No one here does. One day, you just find yourself there.

Because fuck shirts. Except ours, you should buy ours with that link to your right.

And so I’ve fulfilled all legal requirements to write off this trip on my taxes!

There’s a whole world of fun back there to enjoy while the goons drive you to the murder spot.

Read this guide / when you slide / to a world of fear and trepidation.

Your vacation won’t be relaxing if you have to scream, “I want water! Water. WATER. WAAAT-ERR!” every time you’re thirsty.

People say it’s not about the destination but the journey to get there—but I say as long as you made it there in one piece, who cares how it happened.

You’ll want to stare into these bottomless, lonely cavities for the rest of your life.

Take in the view of those hangers!

It was somewhere between Reykjavík and Midborg.

There’s a lot to explore here.

These jeans are the ultimate staycation location for those times you want to get away but don’t want to go very far.

Have you considered the Bahamas?

Anything’s better than spending another minute with your family.

Sure, death is forever. But so is the perfect instagram pic!

You’ll wish these demon spirits escaped every year!

Better make sure you rejuvenate your dead uncle’s creepy cabin before you start summer vacation.

Vacation should be about leaving your old life and tired connections behind, along with most of your clothes and ALL of your money!

From Stockholm to a Doobie Brothers show.

Bad news: you won’t be taking a glorious spring beach escape this year. Good news: We found out who booked your spot, and they’re so much cooler than you!

The ocean is terrible and full of scary fish and fish-monsters. Why do you want to go there? What’s wrong with you?

Oh gross, they barfed in this excerpt. C’mon!