health – Page 2 – bunny ears

I Inject My Kids With Kindness – NOT VACCINES

In 2016, after my eighth round of IVF, I was finally blessed with my stunning designer triplets, Hayden, Kayden, and Dave. After becoming a mom, I started doing some hard soul-searching. What type of parent did I want to be? I was interested in combining parenting with the holistic, natural, and spiritual philosophies by which …

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by Elizabeth Teets

Improve Your Child’s Immunity By Coughing In Her Face

Coughing directly in your child’s face is the ecological, non-toxic, and natural way to ensure they grow healthy immune systems.

by Jessica Ellis

Desensitizing Condoms For When She Just Wants To Get Through It

Finally!

by Jessica Ellis

Be The Most Fascinating Person at The Party By Drinking Mulled Urine

Hear me out, I don’t like the taste of piss. But I do like how it makes me appear interesting.

by Courtney Paige Barnett

A Surefire Cure For Lifelong Asthma: Kidnap Our Lawyer, And Drink His Plasma!

His blood is magic.

by Brian Boone

How My Yeast Infection Landed Me A Deal On Shark Tank

And yours can, too!

by Dyana Goldman

Confuse And Terrify Your Children Into Eating Healthy

Try these handy tricks to both terrify and confuse them into submission.

by Amanda Mannen

Dick-Slimming Condoms To Hide Your Dick Fat

Finally!

by Amanda Mannen

My Superfood Diet Has Made Me Immeasurably Powerful, And I’m Not Ready For The Responsibility

It started harmlessly enough. I’d gained a bit of winter weight, and I decided to kick my diet up a notch in the hopes of getting my abs back before #beachseason. I decided I’d cut out sugars, cut down on carbs. More leafy greens, more protein, more exercise. It was simple stuff. At first. As …

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by Lily Taylor

Summer Staples We Don’t Recommend You Stick Up Your Butt (This Time)

We’re saying ‘yes’ to summer and ‘no more’ to your lawsuits!

by Hana Michels

I Refuse To Wear A Condom Until They Start Making Them Biodegradable

And that’s the only reason.

by Luis Prada

Mmm Look at This Pie I Baked That None of My Thin Children Are Allowed to Eat

After spending an entire weekend indoors baking and decorating like a madwoman, my Pinterest foodie page is off the frickin’ charts right now. Look at this pie. Look at it. When it comes to pretty food, I am Michelangelo. But just as you do not touch the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, none of my …

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by Courtney Paige Barnett

I Will Passionately Defend My Middle School Whispstache

Hello, concerned adults and classmates! I’m a man now. I’m sorry you feel so threatened by this that you need to pretend your problem is with my beautiful lip fringe. Being a man means I can wear the same underwear for two weeks, shout horrible slurs playing PUBG, and start rumors about Anya using special-order jumbo …

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by Hana Michels

You Legally Can’t Stop Us From Saying These Recipes Are Brownies

We checked.

by Jessica Ellis

Your Butthole Is A Flower That Needs To Be Tended

Stop treating your A-hole like your B-hole.

by Heidi Lux

A (Very) Formal Introduction To Your Gut Flora

Have you met Bacillus Subtilis?

by Heidi Lux

The New Yoga: Jogging Until You Find A Corpse

You’ll never feel so alive.

by Allison Mick

Even We’re Not Dumb Enough To Put Ginger Up Our Butts

We’ve got the ‘sticking stuff up your butt’ beat covered, thanks.

by Amanda Mannen

It’s Me, The Guy At This Party Who Will Definitely Try To Crack Your Back!

I know you’re just minding your own business, and as a grown up, you probably don’t want to be lifted off the ground. But let me crack your back. Please.

by Hana Michels