Productivity Tip: Perfect Is The Enemy Of Good, As Is Gozan The Annihilator!
By Gozan The Annihilator Whether you’re engaging in a creative endeavor, a self-improvement goal, or your nine-to-five job, you’ve likely grown up being told to do your very best. And rightly so. However, many people take this advice to the extreme, only to find their productivity paralyzed by the daunting task of getting things “just […]
Relationship Advice: How Do I Get A Daddy Like Thanos?
The release of Avengers: Infinity War is nigh and as usual with Marvel movies it’s getting a full barrage of posters, billboards, tv spots, Arrested Development easter eggs, and trailers to get us hyped. As I see more and more from this movie I’ve come to a chilling realization: Thanos is the best daddy in the […]
Wiping Out Half the Universe: Could Thanos’ Plan Be The Key to Spiritual Wellness?
Thanos has many aliases – The Mad Titan, The Most Powerful Being in the Universe, Daddy, The Dark Lord, Father, and Genocidal Maniac – and yet we still don’t know that much about who he is. Here’s what we do know: Thanos is a very driven person who has been manipulating his Chitauri army, Ronan […]
A Beginner’s Guide To Having A Wiccan Girlfriend
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]
This Is Face Yoga…I Swear
Hi Bunny Ears readers. As you know we like to have fun here from time to time but right now we need to get real serious. You might know me as a hilarious and probably your favorite comedy writer, but I also have a higher purpose in life. I’m a face yoga instructor. What is […]
Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship (With Chili’s)
Romantic relationships can pose a variety of challenges even at their best. Two unique individuals coming together to form a partnership will always require sacrifice, compromise, and clear communication. In short: Work. Which is why it can sometimes be difficult to recognize the warning signs of an unhealthy, codependent, or even toxic relationship. It’s easy […]
10 Easy Crystal Substitutes for Harmonizing Your Vital Energies on a Budget
If you’re reading this, you probably understand the importance of harmonizing your crystal energies and aligning them towards your goals. However, not everyone can afford a high quality, ethically-sourced chunk of turquoise or amethyst to enshrine in their home. Perhaps you’ve long recognized the value of malachite in aiding concentration or the ability of aventurine […]
Yoga For Your Internal Organs; Kegals For Your Kidneys
Yoga for your internal organs. Kegals for your kidneys. Getting in shape is hard, but staying in shape is even more difficult, especially when you are very famous. You are constantly being showered with gifts, many of them edible, while at the same time all of the regular people of the world are looking to […]
I Read The Secret and Now I Can’t Control Which Thoughts I Manifest
You’ve no doubt heard of The Secret, the 2006 best-selling self-help book endorsed by Oprah, Good Housekeeping, and the lady who reads tarot cards on the boardwalk for five bucks. Millions of readers’ lives have been changed by learning about the law of attraction and how to manifest whatever they want in their lives through […]
Don’t Snort Condoms, All The REAL COOL TEENS Are Snorting Abstinence
We spend a lot of time here on Bunny Ears providing wealthy, successful adults with fashion, health, and spiritual advice to help make them wealthier and more successful in their personal lives. But that doesn’t mean we don’t see you, teens. We see you, and more importantly we understand. Being a teenager is tough, especially […]
Arts and Crafts Therapy: Embroidery for Depression
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Therapy can be wonderful, and medication is the answer for some. But doesn’t your depression demand that you have a counterpoint for everyone who suggests more fruit and yoga is the answer? Indifferent shrug? I’ll take that as a yes! Introducing Therapy Arts and Crafts: Embroidery for Depression. It won’t cure you, but it […]
Color of the Month: Indigo
This month’s Bunny Ears’ Color of the Month is indigo, but full disclosure, I’m technically color blind. You asked, and we delivered! That’s right. April’s Color of the Month is officially indigo. Although again, I’m severely color blind, and according to my doctors, don’t register anything in the blue/purple/green(ish) color families. But I’m really gonna […]
The Perfect Hookup Bag for your One Night Stand with the Easter Bunny
Against all odds, you’ve managed to seduce the Easter bunny. Maybe you’re just misunderstood or really into costumes, but either way you’re going to need some tips on how to prepare for your magical night. Here are the four essential things you absolutely need in your Easter hookup survival kit. 1. Industrial grade sewing kit […]
Spice Up Your Seder With These Passover-Themed Sex Tips
Ah, Passover. That magical time of year when we celebrate the emancipation of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt some 3300 years ago by eating bitter herbs and bland crackers. Like most good Jewish holidays, it’s filled with wine, food, family and stories of great suffering. But while you can’t do much to spice up […]
7 Things You Should Hide From Your Kids Instead Of Eggs This Easter
Easter is the time of year when we celebrate the murder of Jesus – and how he miraculously crawled out of his grave like nothing ever happened – by pretending a giant rabbit broke into your backyard and laid pastel eggs all over the place. None of this makes any sense so we suggest you […]
Mnemonic Acronyms To Help You Remember To Stay Present (M.A.T.H.Y.R.T.S.P)
In today’s busy world, there’s nothing like mnemonic acronyms to remind you to be well-centered and spiritually present. Is fear holding you back? Are you so focused on where you want to go that you can’t remember where you put your keys? Are you so worried about whether you will ever find your tribe that […]
I Told Everyone I Was Armie Hammer For A Month: Here’s My Story
My name is Daniel Joseph O’Brien. My mom was a nurse, my father was a train-whisperer and we grew up in a small, steel-aware-of town in central New Jersey in The Past. We didn’t grow up wealthy, we didn’t attend fancy Hollywood parties and I was actually the first person in my family to feel […]
Keeping The Spark Of Psychological Warfare Alive In Your Long-Term Celebrity Relationship
Relationships are hard work, whether you’re a Hollywood power couple forever trapped beneath the microscope of public adoration and scrutiny, or some fucking nobody. However, we feel that the burden of maintaining a long-term romantic relationship is borne exponentially more heavily by the very famous (and we are certain you agree). When you and another […]
People To Quietly Rage Against While You Pretend To Be Meditating
Hey, sometimes you just need a moment (or 20) to silently seethe with rage, aka a classic secret anger meditation. We get it! But in this world of endless d-bags, it can be super hard to choose exactly who to direct your bottomless anger meditation at. And that’s exactly why we’ve compiled this handy list […]
Four Easy-To-Get Cryptocurrencies That Will Change Your Life
Sorry, Warren Buffett! Cryptocurrency is the way of the future and it’s here to stay. Cryptocurrency, or “Crypto” as us insiders like to call it, is the money our children, our grandchildren, and even our great-great-great-great grandchildren will deal in because it represents freedom and can’t be controlled by a would-be authoritarian government. Through decentralization, […]
Does He Like You Or Does He Just Need Your Soul For A Spell?
We’ve all been there. The guy you’re crushin’ on is giving you totally mixed signals. Sometimes you feel like you’re definitely sensing a connection, and other times you’re convinced it’s all in your head. It’s the age-old question: Does he like you, or does he just need your soul to summon Khaos, the ancient Demon […]
Self Care Tip: Throw Yourself A Birthday Every Day This Year
With so many things to keep track of, what with your travel Instagram account and hiring someone to maintain your travel Instagram account, it’s easy to neglect the most essential thing in your life – yourself. That’s right, you are the most precious gift you’ve ever received, and if you don’t take the time to […]
Get Last Night’s Perfect Date Out of Your Home
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]So you went on the perfect date. You saw a movie that passed the Bechdel Test. There were no awkward moments involving paying. He expressed the appropriate amount of horror at current events (a lot), took you to a secret bar you’ve never been to before, and you got to enter through what you THOUGHT […]
Religious Awakening: I Saw A Coyote Today
[Editor’s Note: This article has been edited to be as racially sensitive as possible. Many of the words have been changed to be more inclusive. The views expressed are of the individual, and do not reflect the views of the site as a whole.] This morning I was driving along, and a coyote stopped in front […]
How My Near Death Experience Changed Me
There I was, driving my Prius home from a fair trade essential oils bazaar when it happened. For a brief moment, I felt as if I were one with all of creation, the sun sending me its solar energy, my body vibrating at the resonance of all the beings around me, a dove soaring majestically […]
Best Reasons To Stop Editing Your Text Messages
Have you ever noticed how much time is wasted writing a post or composing the perfect text message? Half the time you’re hitting the damn delete button, rewriting sentences that your phone tries to ruin by changing “fucking” to “ducking” and “seriously” to “seruslkljflskl” or whatever other bullshit tactics it has devised to destroy your […]
Spiritual Wellness: Feeling Lost?
Winter, am I right? Shorter days, full of cold and gray and slush and blah. It’s enough to make even the most spiritually attuned among us feel a little disconnected. Personally, my day job had me coming in early and leaving late enough that I swear I hadn’t seen the sun in a week! Aside […]
Celebrity Wellness Trends For The Dirt Poor
Celebrities: “they’re just like us”…. except for the buckets of moola they have to spend on their health and good looks. But don’t worry; just because you don’t drive a Maserati or spread caviar on your morning bagel doesn’t mean you can’t look fly AF. We’ve got three hot wellness trends that we’re gonna show […]
Pale Skin: How To Get That Perfect Porcelain Look
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Just so we’re clear up front: this not an article promoting all the virtues of being white. There’s already more than enough material out there to last a lifetime on that topic and if that’s what you’re looking for please see history books, any J. Crew outlet, Gary Busey, the current administration or the Winter […]
I Inject My Kids With Kindness – NOT VACCINES
In 2016, after my eighth round of IVF, I was finally blessed with my stunning designer triplets, Hayden, Kayden, and Dave. After becoming a mom, I started doing some hard soul-searching. What type of parent did I want to be? I was interested in combining parenting with the holistic, natural, and spiritual philosophies by which […]
Reaching Spiritual Enlightenment Via Taco Bell’s Taco 12-Pack.
Very few mortals have unlocked the true potential of Taco Bell’s taco 12-pack. I can’t blame them for not taking the plunge. But I say ‘Live Mas’
From The Archives: Bunny Ears Explains How To Deal With The Vapours
A rare and delightful treat from the Bunny Ears Archive!
Forget Those Beginner Witch Kits, We’ll Send You Actual Blood And Skulls
Step up to Flavor Town, witches. We have a beginner witch kit that will totally Fairuza your Balk and put you on the path to casting wicked spells.
I’m An Introvert And I Need Every Person On Earth To Know It
Only after I personally tell every sentient creature that I’m super shy will the world finally understand my struggles as an introvert.
Try This Irresistible, Sense-Delighting, Open Wound Salve
Open wound salves are a huge part of my everyday routine, which is why I know not all salves are created equal. In fact, most wound ointments not only sting when applied, but they come out greasy—and no one wants to get that oily mess on a loved one or sexual partner. I need the […]
Single And Stuck On A Submarine? Then This Dating App Is For You!
If you’ve been single in the digital age, you know how the story goes: you meet the right guy and/or gal, you connect over your favorite episodes of The Office or where you were during Occupy Wall Street, and you start planting the seeds for a casual fling. You set the date. You set the […]
What Your Period Is Trying To Tell You About The NASDAQ
In our culture, when we talk about the NASDAQ Composite, most traders tend to focus on how it is “gross,” “messy,” and “not as good as the New York Stock Exchange.” But there’s a lot more to it. And, like a lot of things, the key to unlocking the NASDAQ’s deepest secrets might actually be […]
I Made A Raccoon My Life Coach And I’ve Never Been Happier
Rummage through the trash of life and find your true self!
Planning the Perfect Ritualistic Maypole Party
If you’re gonna sacrifice a virgin, you better sacrifice a virgin the right way.
Meet Our New Au Pair, The Goblin King
Finding an au pair you can trust with your child is no small task. But we’ve come across a winner, and we want to share him with you!