Lifestyle

You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.

Nearly 30 years later, the subject of the Spin Doctors’ memorable hit gives HER side of the story.

You won’t believe who my new dog will want to see cleansed in Holy Blood. Celebrities? Politicians? You? Also I bought her the most adorable new dress.

We need to teach our boys consent, mutual respect, and how to freaking rock at magic.

Check out our reviews of these actual savory ice cream flavors apparently made by demon aliens who want to ruin everything you love in this world.

When Bunny Ears used a stock image of my face in an article about micropenises, I thought my life was over. It was only just beginning.

My leash kid is on a leash. The dogs are on leashes. I don’t see the problem?

You may love your cats equally, but they aren’t all equal when it comes to personal responsibility.

You wanna throw coffee in your boss’s face but it has to be the right kind because you are above all, professional.

Because brunch is expensive but tricking your friends into eating your gross food is priceless.

Self care is important. That’s why we want you to listen to your body. No, like REALLY listen to it. Know what we’re saying?

Having mulled over all the evidence since the dawn of time, we’ve realized that sex with men was an atrocious mistake, and we must apologize.

She’s always been there for you. So this year, why not give her the Mother’s Day of her dreams by having her plan the whole thing?

Drinking on Mother’s Day won’t help your partner and children truly appreciate you, but it WILL get you through another day without murder charges!

Do animals put you in a better mood? Then you have to try the latest self-care trend, featuring adorable badgers! They’re cuddlier than they look!

This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?

We were first to tell you to try charcoal ice cream cones, so let us also be the first to add some unfortunate news!

If My Kids Love Me So Much, Why Won’t They Donate To My Patreon

Want to makeover not just your body but your whole dang life?

Ink is beautiful.

If you love taupe you’re going to lose your shit for this.

Look, we all know you only browse yoga articles because maybe you’ll see a nipple or something. Whatever.

We dove deep to find out exactly where you should be pooping. You’re welcome!

If you’re raising one of these “cage-free children,” you’re a crappy parent. There, we said it.

Sadly, you will never be able to experience the sheer, shit-eating bliss of being somebody’s beloved pet hedgehog. What an existence.

Look, we get it. There’s no need to preach to us about how good dog meat can be, and finding a healthy, delicious, vegan alternative can be difficult. Enter jackfruit, a freaky-looking, spiky fruit native to the tropical lowlands of Southeast Asia. Its meaty texture and neutral flavor will leave you amazed that you’re not […]

Don’t act like you don’t have a thousand favorite subscription boxes.

We might be living in a lifeless, barren wasteland, but it’s nothing a little color wouldn’t spruce up if we hadn’t killed every color but grey!

The other alternative is to just keep your big mouth shut and starve to death. #horoscopes

We really didn’t think this one through

I thought my life was over when I changed my identity and was forced into hiding. But boy was I wrong

Based on my experience, these are hard rules (no exceptions) on how to catch the absolute perfect, most brilliant, driven person ever. 

Hey Janice just wanted to let you know that sweater is super cute and also cancer but you’ve got like thirty years.

I ended up leaving after they finished playing “You Spin Me Right Round (Like A Record)” by Dead Or Alive for the sixth time. Is this all they play at this place, like, constantly on loop?

No, I’m not going to cook you in this soothing ramen noodle bath, dangit. And frankly, I’m offended you would even ask that.

Minimum effort with maximum reminders that you’re great and everyone else can suck it.

Because this is apparently what you guys want? Really?

I can feel it when I’m eating.

We know you loved Dad, but we also know you love the environment more. Use this opportunity to teach everyone about the true beauty of upcycling.

Will they be able to keep up with all those little creeps, goobers, freak-balls and toenail chewers? I’m just not convinced.

Is your husband’s skin dry, cracked, or scaly? Here’s some sneaky, virtually fool-proof ways to get that man to moisturize.

Ever feel like you’re letting your poops go to waste? Have you ever considered dropping them on the doorstep of people who may or may not need them?

Are you tired of the bitter tasted of crushed up pills? Boy do we have something for you!