Healthy Twists On Picnic Favorites Literally No One Wants You To Make
Have you tried apple slices and cinnamon?!
Our Marshmallow Diet Lets You Camp In The Woods For Weeks Without Pooping!
Marshmallows are basically nature’s intestinal glue.
Try Our Low Carb Pasta Alternative: Betty Spaghetty
It’s both delicious, nutritious, and not a choking hazard if eaten correctly.
Recipes For Boogers Since That’s The Only Thing My Gross Kids Will Eat
At your wit’s end with your kids eating their boogers instead of your delicious homemade meals?
These Trendy Salads Were Recalled But Oh God We’re Gonna Eat Them Anyway
The hottest new salad proteins are hopefully maggots, because that’s definitely what’s in this trendy salad pack we bought three weeks ago!
Savory Ice Cream Flavors Created by Some Monster
Check out our reviews of these actual savory ice cream flavors apparently made by demon aliens who want to ruin everything you love in this world.
The Best Flavored Coffees to Throw in Your Boss’s Face When You Quit
You wanna throw coffee in your boss’s face but it has to be the right kind because you are above all, professional.
Great Ways To Sneak In Some Day Drinking This Mother’s Day
Drinking on Mother’s Day won’t help your partner and children truly appreciate you, but it WILL get you through another day without murder charges!
If You Ate Those Charcoal Ice Cream Cones You Now Have 24 Hours to Live
We were first to tell you to try charcoal ice cream cones, so let us also be the first to add some unfortunate news!
Lose 20 Friends with These 30-Minute Workouts
Want to makeover not just your body but your whole dang life?
Jackfruit Is The Vegan Alternative To Dog Meat You’ve Been Waiting For
Look, we get it. There’s no need to preach to us about how good dog meat can be, and finding a healthy, delicious, vegan alternative can be difficult. Enter jackfruit, a freaky-looking, spiky fruit native to the tropical lowlands of Southeast Asia. Its meaty texture and neutral flavor will leave you amazed that you’re not […]
5 Recipes To Impress No One Because You Don’t Need To, You’re Perfect
Minimum effort with maximum reminders that you’re great and everyone else can suck it.
The Real Nutritional Supplement Was Inside You All Along
But how did I get regular after taking the supplements when I was so constipated before, you ask? Guess what. That was also you. Your poops were stuck inside your colon waiting for you to believe in yourself.
I Support Wildlife Preservation So I Can Eat The Last Of Every Animal
Yes, even the cute ones. Especially the cute ones. Mmmmm delicious wildlife preservation.
Substitutions For Exotic Ingredients That Are, Ugh, Fine
Sure. Just google what’s in ras el hanout and blend together whatever shit you have in your spice rack.
The Importance Of Time-Travel-Restricted Eating
Look, we love food as much as the next guy. But there has to be limits. That’s why time travel restricted meals are so important.
Cookie Recipes That Hide The Bitter Taste Of All Those Crushed Pills
Are you tired of the bitter tasted of crushed up pills? Boy do we have something for you!
The Best Edible Recipes For Your Easy Bake Oven
Here are some wacky and nostalgic recipes for edibles baked in the fiery kiln of an Easy-Bake Oven. Users be warned: It isn’t always easy being easy baked.
Ways To Accommodate The Tree Nut Allergy You Chose to Have
If you get halfway through a cookie and find out it has pistachios, you can go ahead and finish it if the cookie is really good.
3 School Lunches Your Child’s Bully Will Love
Cut out the middleman and prep for the bully’s palette instead! It’s good to know there’s at least one person likes your cooking.
Meat-Based Tofu Alternatives We Love
Are you struggling to find a good replacement for the soy you love? You’re not totally tofurked. We’ve got a list of incredible meat alternatives.
Archie Tries Goop Recipes on Her Mom: Roasted Chicken
“Has this white woman ever had chicken before?” My dad asks, staring at the chicken. “This tastes like the ghost of flavored meat,” My mom says.
Check Out These New Wet Seeds We’re Calling Pudding
And we’re collectively pretending they taste good, too!
Healthy Detox Shakes To Make You Shit Your Pants—Just Like The Stars!
We heard one of these recipes made Emma Stone shit in a bush once!
You’re Not Infusing Your Vinegar And We’re All Judging You For It
Why are you doing this to yourself? To all of us?
The Beginner’s Guide To Salt (Because There’s A LOT Of Options)
You probably don’t have anything meaningful to do right now anyway.
DIY Your Own Candy Hearts by Killing These Majestic Sugar Elves
All you need is a scalpel and some time.
I Ate This One Thing Every Morning And It Changed My Life
To feel truly different, you’re going to have to make some real life alterations so that you don’t fall back into your old habits. I completely changed my life by eating the same unlikely thing every morning. And that thing is a box of thumbtacks.
This Plant-Based Colombian Breakfast Will Give You All-Day Energy
Thanks to a single plant, I now have so much fucking all-day energy that I’ve been going non-stop for the last 18 hours and am currently writing this at 4:15 in the morning!
BBQ Recipes So Good You’ll Go ”I’m so sorry about slavery.”
Finger licking good. Also, really really sorry about slavery.
Which Artisan-Crafted DUI is Right For You?
Anyone can get caught speeding with a few Fentanyl IPA patches on their arm and a desire for danger.
Easy Diet Changes To Make You Healthier, Happier, and Afraid To Eat
It’s not hard to make these small changes in your life, it just takes a little planning and a TON of constant anxiety.