Tag Archives: Higher Pleasures

And wind chimes!

Like the say in business school, “Don’t blow your money. Let your money blow you.”

Amanda lives in Missoula, Montana, so we didn’t actually go out there to observe her morning routine firsthand even though LAX is one of the few airports that actually flies directly to Missoula because we’re scared of Republicans.

Elon Musk is his hero! I tried to explain this to them but they kept asking if I wanted to sponsor the education for some child “in need.”

“I’m in hell.”

Whatever you think you know is really just the tip.

No, literally all I have left now are vibrators and cake mix.

Turns out crabs are no joke!

How else shall we absorb her powers?

It’s a simple thing, but I think it is worth it.

We’re all about the icons of the ’90s, and perhaps no one is more iconic of that simpler time than Barney the Dinosaur. We grew up alongside that taxonomically ambiguous purple creature, so it’s only natural that he also grew up alongside us. What you may not know (but, of course, we do, because we […]

Whenever more than one former Friends cast member enters the same room it is a mini Friends reunion and must be reported as such.

There was no way you were really going to “Travel More” this year.

Psst. Hey, kid. You wanna get high?

The question job applicants dread.

Honestly, what is bird box and why are all of my friends talking about it?

She just fell asleep while submitting a piece and I’ve never been published before so, wow!

It has zero to do with our recent legal troubles, okay?

Who needs kindling when you have these literally classics?

Morally compromise everyone you love for the day of your dreams.

All level-headed, thoughtful adults know that Santa is totally real and totally in need of some sweet Christmas presents.

The backyard is a place just for you and your family. It’s a private outdoor sanctuary in which to reflect and commune with nature.

“Did you know that Austin, Texas had a serial killer that pre-dates Jack The Ripper?”

Let’s throw up together!

Great for reading in the bath!

Honestly, who goes ‘Oh a mug? Fantastic, that’s what I’ve always wanted and had no idea how to get’

Fucking again with this shit?

If you loved Street Sharks you’ll love these luxurious new Boulevard Sharks. If you can afford them, which you almost certainly cannot.

The world of fine dining has its own complex language that can turn a romantic date into a confusing embarrassment if you don’t know the lingo. Worry no more, because we’re here to help.

With a little of that sweet, sweet Uncle Sam start-up money and some human ingenuity, you, too, can rent a luxury water vehicle.

Nothing beats curling up with a good book, flipping through its pages, holding it right side up, and, of course, telling people you’re reading it so they think you’re smart.

We shouldn’t let our thirst for power interfere with our compassion for our spiritual companions.

I know there have been a lot of questions since I, Quarog The World Eater, appeared in the space that surrounds your planet.

I mean seriously, come on, Titanic II? That has us written all over it.

Capitalism is a prison but candles smell nice so tell us your most recent traumatic social experience and we’ll sell you a scented candle!

What better way to pay respect to the pets you miss than to plant a produce garden in their name, right on top of their graves?

Before you pack up the station wagon, it’s only natural to wonder what to do if that thing from The Happening happens.

As many of you know, every year, we here at Bunny Ears bring you a detailed guide to all things autumn. Normally, our interactive autumnal map allows you to search B&Bs in the area by size, style, and quaint charm, while our color wheel breaks down every leaf shade permutation possible by region and time […]

Sometimes when I breastfeed in public, ignorant store owners or cops feel the need to stop me instead of dealing with their own weird hangups. Breastfeeding is beautiful and natural. It’s a sacred bond between a mother and her young, and I should have the right to breastfeed my snakes in public whenever I want. […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week, we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To England’s Regional Butthole Slang The United Kingdom is a very small country, but it’s such an old country […]

On Friday, a framed canvas version of rogue street artist Banksy’s famous painting, Girl With Balloon, sold at auction for $1.1 million, only to immediately self-destruct when a mechanism within the frame shred the piece upon sale.   Because you are doubtlessly a collector of fine art, and that man clearly has a finite number […]

Welcome to Bunny Ears Essentials! Today, our topic is abiogenesis, the origin of life in the form of simple organic compounds that arise from inorganic or non-living substances. Abiogenesis likely occurred over 3.5 billion years ago on Earth. (Don’t come at us with your panspermia hypothesis bullshit!) But don’t be fooled by how long it’s been—abiogenesis […]

Look, I get it. The water in the sensory deprivation tank I loaned to the Bunny Ears office is very soothing. It plunges your mind into a deep state of meditative contemplation. The salinity of the water that keeps you suspended on the surface is as close to feeling the weightlessness of space as you’ll […]

Ladies, we all have a magnificent mergirl inside us just waiting to burst out. (A hot one, obviously, with super nice abs and no arm fat—not at all like those weird Harry Potter ones.) And if your authentic merlass is waiting for her merdebut, we want to help! That’s why we’ve talked to doctors – […]

We know you’re probably sick of reading lemon-stuffing articles. Almost every lifestyle blog has been pumping these out like, well, butt lemons. But we promise this definitive guide to lemon stuffing will be the last article you ever have to read about stuffing lemons up your butt! Bunny Ears has your back (which will soon […]