How To Accentuate Your Resting Dad Dick
Every dad has a pants pickle ready to tickle, but we don’t always put it out there in the best light. Well that ends now.
Apply Early! These Preschools Are So Exclusive They Don’t Allow Children
Or do you hate your children too much help them succeed?
Please Stop Jerking Off With My Luxurious Moisturizer
There are so many substances you can use to masturbate. All that I ask is that you don’t use my luxurious moisturizer. It’s not too much to ask, is it?
Inspirational Feminist Quotes From Women Driven To Suicide By The Patriarchy
They’re so inspirational!
Check Out These New Wet Seeds We’re Calling Pudding
And we’re collectively pretending they taste good, too!
I’m Beginning To Worry Our Nanny Isn’t Really My Ex-Husband In Disguise
Is it possible I jumped the gun?
The Most Elegant Game Of Thrones Spoilers To Shave Into Your Pubic Hair
Thanks to another round of inevitable cyber hacks, we’ve all known how the series finale of Game of Thrones would go down for months now. And diehard fans have found the perfect way to honor the fact that winter is going — by shaving Game of Thrones spoilers into their pubes, of course! Perhaps as expected, […]
Underwear Brands Need To Acknowledge My Weird Penis
Are you a man who struggles to find comfortable underwear? Don’t worry; you’re not alone, and we share in your annoyance and anger.
Fresh Herbs To Plant In That Indent Left By Your Waistband
Time to roll up your sleeves, roll down your waistband, and tend to an indent herb garden of your own.
Classic Novels To Read When You’re Trapped Under A Bookshelf
Never read “Little Women”? Now you have time!
Teaching Your Kids That Goofy Loves To Fuck
It’s a conversation every parent should have with their child.
Hot Fashion Trend: Wearing Your Parents’ Underwear
Your mom’s sensible beige bra is going to look soooo good on you.
Swimming with Lobsters Might Be The Key to Curing Anxiety
“As I waded into a murky backyard pool in Long Beach, California, I felt that familiar tightening in my gut. My anxiety was rearing its ugly head, reminding me that I have an ever-present passenger. I continued forward, my lonely thighs now fully submerged, and felt a pinch. Then two more. I was not alone […]
‘Netflix And Chill’ Options For Letting Him Know You’re Into Pegging
But how can a gal turn her “Netflix and Chill” event into a fully-blown strap-attack? Here are some helpful movies and shows to get you started…
Spring Scents That Will Drive Him Deep Into A Depressive Episode
Ladies, these spring perfumes will strongly remember him of springs from long ago AND send him into a downward spiral over deep feelings of loss.
A Guide To Detoxing Your Red Dead Online Character
More than 150 million Americans play video games, many online. And from what we’ve heard, online gaming is apparently one of the most toxic environments around.
Healthy Detox Shakes To Make You Shit Your Pants—Just Like The Stars!
We heard one of these recipes made Emma Stone shit in a bush once!
Shower Sex Positions That Only Work If Your Turn-On Is Waterboarding
Remember, your sex life doesn’t need to follow the Geneva Convention, so just have fun with it!
Manage Social Anxiety Even Though Everyone Is Only Pretending To Like You
Love Yourself And Others Will Follow, Even The Paid Actors Pretending To Be Your Parents.
Why We Limit Our Children To One Hour Of Good Parenting A Day
Are our kids spending too much time plopped in front of their families, growing lazy from all that unconditional love? Heck yes!
I Gave Up Everything To Live In A Tiny House In My Mom’s Basement
It feels good to unplug from society. It’s almost like Walden Pond, because Henry David Thoreau also had his mom nearby to help him out if he ever needed anything, like the password for the wifi.
Help Us Honor These Male Feminists During Women’s History Month
Where would gender equality be if Jacobson didn’t have the strength to write social media posts and that one Medium article? We’d probably lose the right to vote, that’s where!
Macrodosing: Taking So Much LSD That Nothing Matters Anymore
Dinnnerinnerinner dinnner . how do you spell that word. dinnnner
Find The Perfect Purse To Scream Into When You Fail
Just make sure the purse is strong enough to hold your rage.
Travel Guide: The Secret Canadian Disneyland ONLY For Illuminati
You’ve heard of Club 33, right? You know, that secret club at Disneyland you can only get into if you know the right people where they probably, like, smoke cigars and pass around a poor girl who moved to Hollywood with dreams of being an actress but ended up playing Cinderella for most of her […]
Best Pie To Celebrate The Perfect Math SAT Score You Bought Your Child
Your smart kids deserve a smart treat!
These Credit Cards Relieve Menstrual Cramps And Fix Your Hair
If Dick Cheney had a period the Iraq war would have never been started because he would be too busy going to the hospital every full moon.
How To Not Feel Judged By Your Friends’ Sobriety
I am a human being trying to live her best life. And for me that means vodka all day every day. And I am not going to apologize for that.
Find A Therapist That Won’t Disagree With You
You aren’t paying all that money for someone to tell you you are wrong!
You’ll Never Guess The Secret Ingredient In My Leprechaun Blood Cleanse!
Hint: It’s not Lucky Charms.
You’ll Never Believe How Many Slides Are In This Slideshow Of Women Holding Mugs
Hint: There’s so fucking many!
Revive Your Marriage In Three Easy Steps and $15 Million in Gold Bullion
Your marriage is more like gold than you think, which is why you should invest in both your love and this incredibly stable currency form TODAY!
Our Favorite Articles By The Women Of Bunny Ears
Each author on this list is more talented than all the men here combined.
Stick-And-Poke Tats Are The New Face-Painting At Your Kids’ Parties!
Move over Fudgy the Whale, crude needle poke tattoos are the new big children’s party must-have of the year!