Winter Project: How To Gussy Up Your Favorite Glory Hole!
Is the hole in the wall of a public bathroom through which you do unspeakable things starting to look a bit rundown? Then you need an extreme glory hole makeover, buddy.
The Importance Of Time-Travel-Restricted Eating
Look, we love food as much as the next guy. But there has to be limits. That’s why time travel restricted meals are so important.
The Perfect Sex Positions Based On Your Socio-Economic Level
What do sex and socio-economics have in common? A lot more than you think, my fine mammalian friend. See it turns out (as proven by many VERY very good academic studies! Just trust me!) that human beings bang best when fulfilling their own economic role in the bedroom. Fear not though, for we’ve curated a […]
Ramen Garnishes That Say “Adventurous but Late with Rent”
Maybe getting fired was fortunate and being a foodie is my thing now!
We Made 6 Acupuncturists Sleep On A Bed of Nails for A Night
We are acupuncture diehards. We even have an on-site acupuncturist here in the Bunny Ears offices named Jennifer Chen (hi Jen!) ready to skewer our allergies away with a precise strike to our acupoints at the first sign of a runny nose. So we brought her into our usual Tuesday ayahuasca editorial meeting to pitch […]
I Burned Facts To Create The “Perfect Smoky Eye” And Here’s What Happened
So everyone’s all mad about that Michelle Wolf White House Correspondents’ Dinner routine the other night. “Boo! She was mean to the press! She was mean to the president!” But they’re totally missing the point that she actually gave some great makeup advice in there. Burn facts to get the perfect smoky eye? Like, if […]
Spring’s Hottest Looks Straight From The Runway
Spring is around the corner and if you’re an aspiring fashionista like me, you’ll want to get your hands on these latest must-have items. I’ve scoured the runway searching for the best finds and I’ve got five here that do not disappoint! I’ll be rocking these pieces all spring long. Trust me, you’ll want to […]
Two Days in Southeast Portland: A Bunny Ears Travel Guide
Insider tip: Portland’s hottest neighborhood sits at the foot of a volcano. Known for its supply-and-demand-defying concentration of pour-over coffee shops (not to mention an over-saturated body ink scene!), the South Tabor community affords visitors decent eats and some seriously earthy nightlife options. One day is too short a time to embrace it, but two […]
Celebrity Advice: Quotes to Live By
Though they may or may not be “just like us,” one thing about celebrities is clear: Their lives are awesome and ours aren’t. Logically, they must have some mystical key to an awesome life beyond good bone structure and luck, right? The answer is yes and this is why we all crave celebrity advice. After […]
Ways to Relax When You’re Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
Because things can go horribly wrong at literally any moment.
Tackle Little Tasks So You Can Focus On The Big, Haunting Problems
Like, “What am I even doing with my life?”
How To Look Like A French Girl, Specifically Children’s Media Sensation Madeline
The French have it all: style, class, universal healthcare, funny accents – basically everything we’re striving towards. You may only be able to dream of living above a Parisian cafe, hon-hon-hon-ing at people and not being bankrupt by medical bills, but there’s no reason you can’t look like a French fashion plait, specifically classic children’s […]
Which Christmas Tree Is Right For Your Empty, Loveless Apartment?
Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.
How To Make Edible Slime In A Desperate Attempt To Connect With Your Kids
If your kid prefers squishing a disgusting substance between their fingers more than interacting with you, then congratulations, this guide is for you.
Chrissy Teigen Is The Anti-Gwyneth, So I Guess We Have To Eat Her
How else shall we absorb her powers?
Absolute Must-Have Horoscope #SquadsGoals (Finally In One Place)!
Horoscope squads, assemble! While every horoscope sign is unique, there’s no denying that some traits overlap and form some seriously awesome squads! Study up, figure out the traits that you have in common, and learn how to slay your way through the month of May, bae! The Most Likely To Fake a Sick Day Squad: […]
Finding the Perfect Vape Flavor To Pair With Your Glaring Personality Flaws
Looking to start vaping? Our team of experts will guide you into finding a flavor that nicely complements your inability to grow up.
The Beginner’s Guide to Trapping Exotic Animals
Clearly, the benefits of imprisoning decorative animals can no longer be ignored.
Flowy Dresses That’ll Make Wind Go, ‘Whoosh! Me Wanna See What’s Under There!’
We’ve got looks are so flirtatiously feminine that they’ll literally make the sky blast gusts of wind up your skirt like the top dog on your neighborhood’s predator watchlist.
5 Reasons Why I Ate This Entire Cake by Myself
Cake is symbolic of special occasions, and why shouldn’t every moment of my life be a special occasion?
Bunny Ears Essentials: Abiogenesis
Welcome to Bunny Ears Essentials! Today, our topic is abiogenesis, the origin of life in the form of simple organic compounds that arise from inorganic or non-living substances. Abiogenesis likely occurred over 3.5 billion years ago on Earth. (Don’t come at us with your panspermia hypothesis bullshit!) But don’t be fooled by how long it’s been—abiogenesis […]
Sex Positions That Will Shock The Ghost Of That Victorian Prude
The spirit of Desdemona Turnerwood thinks you’re “vile, truly vile!”
How to Pretend to Like Your Kids For Instagram
Once you reach a certain age, keeping a few tiny clones of yourself as pets is an essential part of your image, but, ugh, they are such a drag. By the time you’ve minimally fed, bathed, and clothed those disgusting creatures, you hardly have any time left for underwater pilates or your bullet journal ghostwriter. […]
Save Your Marriage After You Wrecked It Following Our Marriage Advice
It’s not okay to go on vacation and have an affair. We should have known that. That’s on us. But also, you should have known not to take that advice, so that’s on you, too.
Even We’re Not Dumb Enough To Put Ginger Up Our Butts
We’ve got the ‘sticking stuff up your butt’ beat covered, thanks.
Stop Saying I Have Daddy Issues Just Because I Call Them My Dead Gary Issues
I’d like to send a message to all the men I’ve dated, am currently dating, and who moved out of state after I emotionally ruined them. That message is: One cannot have “daddy issues” when they have no daddy physically present on this planet to give provide them with said issues. When I bring up my […]
Get That Look: Grimace
Use this guide, and everywhere you go, people will think that you’re the real Grimace!
It’s Me, The Guy At This Party Who Will Definitely Try To Crack Your Back!
I know you’re just minding your own business, and as a grown up, you probably don’t want to be lifted off the ground. But let me crack your back. Please.
How To Make People Think You Know What You Are Doing (When You Clearly Don’t)
The voice inside your head calling you a screw-up may be right, but remember that no one else can hear it! Probably.
The Rejuvenating Powers Of Sand
The Rejuvenating Powers Of Sand By “Dr.” Guru King Nartec Jeff Roberts Leader Of The Church Of False-Vestigially Don’t be afraid, former sea-creature. We are all children of the ocean, having long ago emerged to walk the earth in the ancient year of 360 BC. Most historians wouldn’t tell you that, but of course, most […]
EARN YOUR FUR: How To Kill This Fall’s Hottest Living Creatures
What’s really hot right now is only wearing what you’ve truly earned, asserting your dominance over the fashion industry, and nature itself.
How To Actualize Your Healing With Wellness Therapy
Follow my easy method for actualizing your mental and/or physical healing with wellness therapy.
Signs Your Time-Traveling Husband Has A Second Family In 1886
It’s never a positive sign if your husband is suddenly snapped back to 2019 without any clothes on and a slightly sweaty sheen to him.