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What I Learned Locking Myself Into A KFC Overnight In Protest
We must hold KFC accountable for their crimes against nature and their unlawful abuse against innocent chickens. As part protest part art demonstration, I decided to lock myself inside of a vacant KFC overnight and do some savvy sleuthing to get to the bottom of this Kentucky fried nightmare. 4. “11 Herbs and Spices” is …
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What’s All This Then: Bunny Ears Determines That Free Will Is A Lie
Bunny Ears knows that your quest for spiritual wellness takes many forms. During the day you may just need to know how much flaxseed to add to your oatmeal to get you through that staff meeting. But at night you’re haunted by bigger questions: Why are we here? Where are we going? Or, as we …
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Tips For Making Your Home Feel Less Like A Place Where People Get Murdered
Inviting a new person into your home can be stressful, especially if you’re planning to murder that person. It’s crucial for your home to say to the world, “Come in, get comfy, expose your jugular, maybe take a nap.” It can be difficult to make your home feel less like a place where people get …
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Way Too Formal Breakfasts For After Casual Sex
I have always considered myself a sex-positive woman. I have needs, and I’m not afraid to admit it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t treat my (extremely casual, no strings-attached) partner, Liam, with dignity and kindness. We might not be a couple (which again, I’m 100% okay with), but I don’t ever want him to …
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My Three Days On The Ranch Dressing Cleanse
Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Cleanses are all the rage right now. Any website you go to will talk about the latest cleanse with …
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The Best Jade Eggs For Summoning A Sex Demon
Hey Bunnies! By now most of you are well aware of the virtues of crystal healing — specifically how it can help clear out our negative emotional and physical energies, making way for more light and balance in our lives. And you’ve also likely read about (or even tried) the increasingly popular trend of clasping …
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The Apex Diet: Eat Only What Can Eat You!
For as long as I could remember, I’ve always been a pussy. I vividly recall the days where I’d be standing alongside countless cowards at the nearest grocery store, spending my hard-earned money on frozen pizzas, boxes of dry macaroni, or preservative-filled burgers. Some call it sustenance. Some even call it satisfying. But let’s call …
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These New Twists On Hot Cocoa Might Literally Save Your Life
Fellow spiritual siblings, if you’ve been on a vision journey over the last 12 months, you may be blissfully preparing for the season of peace and joy. Unfortunately, here on the bodily plane, it turns out that everything everywhere is now terrible. But nothing can stop the lighting of the menorah or the trimming of …
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The Best (And Worst) Governments To Get Mind Controlled By
It’s inescapable. No matter where you go, the government is going to mind control you either through low tech microwaves and chemicals in the water, or with high tech nanobots in your flu vaccines. Cuba showed us what happens when an inexperienced government tries its hand at mind control using tech that is well above …
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Time To Send Your Kids To Summer Camp, But Which Cult Should You Choose?
Summer is the perfect time for your children to engage in holistic learning. However, this can be hard to accomplish at home, especially when you have plans to attend a tropical resort clinic to learn mindful breathing while on a Mai Tai cleanse. So to ensure that your Precious Little Ones get the most out …
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The Beginner’s Guide to Regretting Buying That Turtle
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …
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Best Practices: How to Care For Your Servants
Let’s face it – it’s not easy to live adjacent to wealth and status. That’s why it’s important to take the time to make your servants feel appreciated. Now before you spit out your mimosa and have FedEx send a printed copy of this article to your home via bike messenger so that you can …
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Recipe: The 27 Flavors I Added to This Muffin Mix Until I Could Feel Something
I used to be like you. When I was a child, I could be satisfied with a simple vanilla cupcake. Oh, how wistful I am for those days of carefree innocence. As I grew older, my palate matured, and I craved the apple cinnamon crumble. I longed for the orange chocolate creme brulee. I was …
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We Talked To Some Unsuccessful, But Very Spiritual People About Their Work Habits
Do you find it hard to stay motivated in both your professional life and your spiritual one? Don’t despair! We asked some of the most spiritual people we could find to tell us how they find that all-important balance, and we think you’ll find their answers… enlightening. Krystal, 27 (Yoga Instructor) “Yoga is obviously extremely …
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RepubliZen: Enlightened Republican Quotes From Our Conservative Users
Lifestyle. It’s a word that calls to mind helpful communities like ours, lavender-scented miscellany, and older couples who like to swing. Yet, all too often, our favorite web genre sub-designation gets tangled up with a set of leftists ideals, things that might make our zen-seeking Republican brothers, sisters, and inter-gender comrades in the elephant jammies confused …
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4 Steamy Sex Tips for Spicing Up the Bedroom
Are you and your partner missing that spark? Has the once fiery passion that burned between you like a throbbing Adonis somehow dulled into the cool flaccidity of Meatloaf’s neck flap? Even if you were forced to bring great shame to your house by answering “yes” to the previous questions, don’t despair! There is hope …
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EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: Do Planets Have Feelings?
Of all the mysteries contained in this vast, wondrous universe, none has gripped philosophers, scientists, and amateur stargazers as tightly as one burning question, deceptively childlike in its simplicity yet so implacably difficult as to thwart centuries of tireless investigation by the world’s best minds. That question is, do planets have feelings? It’s a question …
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All The Reasons Why I’m Ready For Kids At The Age Of 23
I’m really good with kids because I understand them. Check out any kid and they’re most likely falling over, talking to themselves, or making crazy shit up. They’re basically me, mini-sized. So now that I’m an adult, and have spent 23 years without ‘em, I’m ready to get knocked up and pop out a few …
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Inacupuncture: Relieve Stress by Never Putting Needles in Your Face
I used to be an acupuncture fanatic, or as I liked to call it, an “acupunk.” But recently, I’ve found an even better form of stress relief: never putting needles anywhere in my body! Unlike acupuncture, which is complicated by pesky things like “the need for sterilization” and “a lack of rigorous scientific evidence,” inacupuncture …
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Chaxing: The Hot New Teen Trend Where You Give My Church One Half Of Your Salary
Parents hate it! Old people fear it! The government technically allows it under the Religious Liberty and Charitable Donation Protection Act of 1998! It seems that teens these days are scrambling to try out the hot new trend of church-taxing, or “chaxing.” It’s a lit craze that involves a 8323 tax form, one signed and …
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I Empathize With Women Who Experience Ovipositor Pain Or Whatever
I think the single most frustrating part of being a woman must be when men don’t take you seriously. As I was explaining to my sister the other day, this problem springs from a refusal to listen to and understand women’s issues. But as a strong male ally, I always completely get what women are …
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Free-bleeding: It’s Not Just For Periods Anymore
Free-bleeding during your period is, of course, one of the most intense and respectful ways to embody our connection with Gaia. When we allow our menstrual blood to saturate our Lululemons without processed, cancer-causing tampons or pads in the way, we acknowledge ourselves as women, as complete beings, and of course, as superior to Margot …
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The Feng Shui Sutra: Rearranging Furniture To Enhance Your Sex Life
We get it. Rearranging your heavy furniture just to change things up isn’t enticing enough to waste a weekend afternoon. But what if we told you there was a way to arrange your couch, side tables, and even that bowl of potpourri in a way that will harmonize your home with the erotic frequencies of …
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