Health

Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about …

We get pretty excited around here when a new health and beauty trend sweeps the nation. It gives us the chance to write off excessive pampering sessions as a work expense. (You’ll never catch us, Uncle Sam!) Our latest obsession might sound a little dangerous at first, but trust us, it’s only very dangerous. This …

Blue Ivy. Baby Jessica. The weirdly sexualized Coppertone toddler being molested by a dog. These iconic cover-babies didn’t become household names by accident.  (Well, Baby Jessica falling into the well was probably an accident, but it got her international attention!) Unfortunately, as these babies get older and less squishy, they tend to fall off the …

First of all, we here at Bunny Ears would like to say we are SO SORRY for our article about chic summer boots. The men in our office keep the thermostat at a reasonable 40 degrees, so we were unaware of the harm our article about sexy summer boots seems to have caused. Also, we …

Modern science says it takes 30 days to build a new habit, and only 14 days to break one. I have put this into practice and I’m ready to share how I have stopped texting and driving and started driving and masturbating. Texting while driving is a senseless act, but female masturbation should always be celebrated. When life hands you a lemon in the form of an ‘are you …

These refined, often floral perfumes are timeless classics. They will make you feel sophisticated and chic and also remind you that grandma is dead forever. Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory, so spray some of the below fragrances on that hot young bod and remind yourself that grandma’s never coming back! 1.) Chanel …

Are you a Hogwarts fan? Are you sick of being antagonized by people telling you to “read another book”? Is your life and family in danger of financial ruin because of your addiction to writing Harry Potter fanfic? If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions (and obviously you did), the Bunny …

Listen, we know how important it is to drive around in a car worth more than the Gross National Product of most developing nations, covered in enough coats of wax to weaponize the sun’s rays while burning through twelve gallons of premium gasoline on a single trip to Bristol Farms. Fame and status are our …

My husband and I decided to throw a gender reveal party to reveal to our unwoke friends and family that gender is just a social construct. At first they were pretty confused when the gender reveal trebuchet flung only hunks of raw chicken instead of the pink or blue confetti they were promised. When I …

This weekend, I watched my friend get married.  Waiting in line to greet the bride and groom, I overheard some of the best wedding advice from an attending cousin from Florida: “Got a hole? Fill a hole.”  Most of my helpful advice is delivered with my middle finger, but when faced with a blushing bride …

Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Yo, I’m not going to apologize for being a modern man. If you’re still listening to AM radio, paying …

While I’m at home, enjoying my maternity leave, I’m reflecting on all of the great looks I’ve worn throughout my pregnancy. Let me tell you, maternity fashion isn’t as easy as it may seem. But, take my advice, and you too can look like the most adorable mom-to-be out there. I say, be proud of …

Tad and Brita Carlson have always loved to put on a show. The brother-sister creative team from Burbank, California has gone from puerile backyard productions of Equus to some of the most elaborate flash mobs of the 21st century. In 2017, Tad and Brita produced a promposal flash mob which involved over 300 extras, two …

If you’re heading over to London-town for the royal wedding, you’ll need to be prepared for a subtle but definite culture shock. While English is the unofficial language of both the UK and the US, that whole revolution thing drove a bit of a linguistic wedge between us. But fear not! We’ve compiled a list …

There’s a reason every Disney movie ends with a royal wedding — it’s every little girl’s dream to be a princess, by marriage if at all possible. (Otherwise, you’re probably the villain.) Well, who says playing princess has to end in childhood? Your therapist? What do they know? With just a quick trip to Target, …

It’s an age-old question: If you could have dinner with any famous person, living or dead, who would it be? For a lot of women living that #blessed Hollywood lifestyle, the answer is obviously Marilyn Monroe. Not only was she talented, intelligent, and troubled, she probably has some bomb makeup tips. Well, for those of …

For years people have been whispering about the therapeutic properties of sticking your entire first in your mouth. It’s been called Mouth Fisting, and the benefits are both spiritual and physical. It’s a fun and relaxing pastime and it stretches out your jaw so you can fit even more cheeseburgers in there. I’d had a …

Midi-Chlorians. We all have them! Some of us have a high Midi-Chlorian count; we excel in life, have a strong connection to the Force, and deep flourishing relationships. Others have a low Midi-Chlorian count, and they’re people too! But whether you have a lot or a little, monitoring your Midi-Chlorians and developing a relationship with …

For many years, the opportunity for our youth to have an education in music and performance arts has been under fire. Throughout the United States, parents and students alike have battled school administrators who have been all-too-happy to cut classes in the arts, especially those in music education, just to save a penny or two …

I’m not oblivious. I know it’s not always easy for my oceanic disciples to follow every single lesson laid out in my expansive collection of self-help literature/chant books/diet charts/underwater ashram chore schedules. We aren’t all millionaires — which is why I will never charge a flat fee for my guidance into the vestigial temple of …

By now, you’ve probably heard about Shailene Woodley’s advice to eat clay to rid your body of heavy metals and negative isotopes. No one knows what those are, but if you want to be pretty and rich like Shailene, you better have started adding a heaping side of earthenware to every meal. But Shailene never …

Skincare is all the rage and has been for centuries. Most of us apply a myriad of products to our face on a daily basis to maintain a soft, youthful glow. However, if you’ve found yourself stuck with skin that doesn’t want to change no matter what serum, cream, or emulsion you try, it’s possible …

There will be joy. Oh yes, there will be joy. Many secrets were revealed to me the day I first held my joint aloft, inhaled and said, “By the power of 4:20!” Or was that a cartoon? Doesn’t matter. As I have now come to realize, cartoons contain deeply embedded truths woven from the fabric …

Heads up, there are some amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. It’s springtime again and that can only mean one thing: it’s reading season. [Air horn sound effect][Air horn sound …

With medical marijuana legalized in 29 states and recreational marijuana legalized in 9 states as of 2018, it’s only a matter of time before this article is laughably irrelevant, if not outright fucking stupid. But since weed is still illegal in a lot of places, you can’t just keep your weed out in the open …

Confession time: I’ve had a hell of a run so far. I’ve been told by my friends that I am lucky to have what I’ve been afforded in life, with my peak physical condition, my well-paying job, and my lovely circle of friends and family. But after so many years of spoiling myself with what …

As a devoted foodie and restaurant critic, it’s not often I get to say I’ve had a culinary experience that truly rocked my world and pushed the borders of what I consider fine dining. But this past Saturday, while driving to visit some relatives out in rural Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley, I stumbled upon a down-to-earth, …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …

So your dependence on alcohol is getting out of hand, and people are starting to get worried. It started small, with a nightly six-pack of locally brewed small-batch IPA or an ironic box of wine, but now you’d lick a hobo just to inhale the fumes of Wild Turkey emanating from his pores. That’s troubling …

Flipping houses is the most exciting way to grow an investment outside of sponsoring an endangered animal and entering it into an endangered animal fighting league, but it can be a little daunting. Sure, the property has two stories and a basement, and as best you can tell it has never been on fire, but …

What exactly is “inaction action in action” and how can it help you make a lasting impact? It’s 1:17 in the afternoon and I am casually scrolling through my facebook feed, hitting like on my friends MLM posts and photos of their children, when suddenly I am confronted with a crisis. Someone has posted a …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …

Heads up, there are some amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Children today are often too sheltered to the raw sexuality that is inherent in nature. Everything we see …

The last few months I’ve been a bit of a candle fanatic. In the midst of turning 30, changing jobs, and trying to get my life in order, I’ve found the ritual of simply lighting a candle to be a soothing activity. Diving into candle culture, with all the different fragrances and chemical free waxes, …

Are you a poor person who has hands? Then use these crafty, eco-friendly tips to save money and Mother Gaia, may She dwell forever in the Anthropologie store at the center of the Earth. By investing a little time and creativity, you too can impress your friends and co-op cohabitants! Not only that, but you’ll …

Hunting is one of the greatest sports that unathletic rich people can engage in, but it can become a real hassle. You have to constantly worry about a laundry list of pesky regulations, all seemingly designed to keep you from killing to your heart’s desire. Well, where’s the fun in engaging in a sport if …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …

One year ago, if you would have told me that I’d be sitting on a chair crafted from the bones of seemingly dozens of human bodies, I probably would have thought you were crazy. Yet here I am, sitting mere feet away from one of the most singularly terrifying figures in the landscape of alternative …

Small dogs are a necessary part of the celebrity life style. If you aren’t constantly being followed by five to ten small dogs how will people know that you can afford to spend thousands of dollars keeping alive a cadre of useless inbred monsters? Of course your instinct is to dote on your adorable mini-frankensteins. …

While beautiful for northern topiary and cozy fashion, autumn marks the time of year when holiday stress officially begins. ‘Tis the season for checkout lines and gift-giving headaches! Lord knows if there were a way to get ahead of all the toy and clothing buzz we’d kill to know it. Well, you’re in luck, future …