Health

Capitalism is a prison but candles smell nice so tell us your most recent traumatic social experience and we’ll sell you a scented candle!

Hi, my name is Daniel O’Brien, and I am a hiker, Escape Room–avoider, and author, but before all that, many years ago, I was a camp counselor. I worked at a summer camp in Old Bridge, New Jersey for several years, and I still look back on the experience with tremendous fondness. I got to […]

Ain’t no party like an office party ’cause an office party is necessary to your livelihood! At the Bunny Ears office, we have an office party every 15 minutes to boost morale, consisting of an IV cleanse and a mandatory meditation seminar. For those of you who don’t work at the healthiest place on Earth, here […]

His blood is magic.

You’d barely notice Mama Bird’s Cafe if you didn’t already know what to look for. Tucked in the back corner of a parking lot in Echo Park, next to a launderette, a cigarette stand, and something called “Dr. Funsicle’s Mystery Shop of Edu-tainment,” is a small room containing four elegantly dressed tables. There’s a sign […]

No, literally all I have left now are vibrators and cake mix.

I just wanted to do one freaking pose but now I have to deal with ghosts?

Wake up, you actual bear who has been sleeping for months. Bet you’re hungry.

If you’re anything like me, all it takes is a bite of a burrito or a sip of a latte to send you on a one-way trip to bathroom town. I also can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. So when I found a flyer under my door asking […]

I am Ruth Bader Ginsburg: see A I am not Ruth Bader Ginsburg: see B A. Welcome, Justice Ginsburg! We are truly honored by your eyeballs. To keep you alive as long as humanly possible, we have assembled a group of shamans, crystal healers, wellness advocates, voodoo priestesses, culotte tailors, and 25-year old studs who […]

There are lots of reasons to carve off one of your arms or legs before its absolutely necessary.

When it comes to personal hygiene, many of us men run into the same problem. How do we keep our penises clean, when they’re such dirty lil’ things?

Or do you WANT your dog to die?

Finally!

We know you’re probably sick of reading lemon-stuffing articles. Almost every lifestyle blog has been pumping these out like, well, butt lemons. But we promise this definitive guide to lemon stuffing will be the last article you ever have to read about stuffing lemons up your butt! Bunny Ears has your back (which will soon […]

Look. Not everyone still likes weed, okay? Just because now you are in your mid-thirties and no longer enjoy feeling like you’re going to fall out of a window and directly into a police cell every time you take a single puff off someone’s “totally mellow, home-grown” joint, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. […]

A simple AYOOGA or BLEEP BLEEP can make all the difference.

It started harmlessly enough. I’d gained a bit of winter weight, and I decided to kick my diet up a notch in the hopes of getting my abs back before #beachseason. I decided I’d cut out sugars, cut down on carbs. More leafy greens, more protein, more exercise. It was simple stuff. At first. As […]

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to the third ever Bunny Ears advice column, where Bunny Ears staff submit questions, and other Bunny Ears staff provide answers. Neither party knew who was asking or answering their questions. Until now … ] Q – Kelly Wallace-Barnhill I have taken on so many projects and have so much to get done that […]

It can be hard to express your true feelings. That’s why inspirational quotes are so great! Why think of something poignant yourself when you could just use Google? When it’s hard for me to find the words I need all I have to do is turn to Instagram where I can find exactly what I […]

We’re saying ‘yes’ to summer and ‘no more’ to your lawsuits!

We must hold KFC accountable for their crimes against nature and their unlawful abuse against innocent chickens. As part protest part art demonstration, I decided to lock myself inside of a vacant KFC overnight and do some savvy sleuthing to get to the bottom of this Kentucky fried nightmare. 4. “11 Herbs and Spices” is […]

One taste of that needle now, and they’ll be hooked for life.

And that’s the only reason.

Because everybody has one. Right?

I know I destroyed that hotel room. But you can’t persecute me for participating in rage yoga. I will contest this outrageous bill.

Please don’t touch me.

Great for reading in the bath!

Sun salutations, my spirit animals and metaphysical dilettantes! It’s your erstwhile wellness guru and glamping expert, Lonnie Standish. I feel absolutely ebullient to be starting an auspicious tenure at Bunny Ears! After twelve long years penning “The Gay Gadabout” for Food & Wine Magazine, I feel I have a great deal of acumen to lend […]

Where are you going to go for Weed Christmas? Are you staying home? If so, here are the best spots for that perfect 4/20 vacation in your drab apartment.

And the eggs are hard boiled, so brunch is served!

It’s a simple thing, but I think it is worth it.

TIME TO RE-HY-DRATE!

Many food companies will try to promise you “guilt-free” snacking with “healthy” snack alternatives but let’s get real here: there is no guiltless snacking. When Eve took that bite of the apple back in Bible times, God’s wrath descended upon humans and decreed “Thou shalt not snack unless you feel immediate regret. I mean good […]

An ancient and terrifying power lurks inside you… congratulations, you are about to give birth to a baby! Now you must announce the coming of your child to the world, so that all inhabitants of earth may prepare themselves for your spawn’s unbridled potential. And what better way to do that than a gender reveal […]

Weddings, the bane of any 20-something guest’s pocketbook. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love a good wedding? The food is a step above cafeteria (mass produced but actually damn good), everyone is dressed to the nines (a favorite trait of yours truly) and the possibilities for where the night could go, on wings of […]

Minimalism is here to stay. What’s the point of filling your domicile with meaningless junk when there’s no point to anything? If you’re ready to dive into the design style that answers the question “what brings me joy?” with “almost nothing,” here’s a few rules of thumb for making your dwelling look as empty as […]

This is a story of a sweet, innocent young woman letting go, embracing her kinky side, and learning to reconcile those two facets of her personality. I was a sexually inexperienced grad student when I first met “Dan,” an interior designer whose taste in decor was pretty standard, but whose sexual proclivities were anything but […]

Most anyone who’s been married can tell you that your wedding day will be special, meaningful — and unfortunately — often impersonal. The bride and groom spend so much time graciously saying hello to each and every guest that, even though you talk to everyone, it feels like you connect with almost no one. Which […]

He’s a sexy liar god, and that’s hot!

Some call it “Sob Crunches” while others like myself prefer “Exer-crying”.

Psst. Hey, kid. You wanna get high?

… And You Won’t Believe How Offended They Were!