Health

Love Yourself And Others Will Follow, Even The Paid Actors Pretending To Be Your Parents.

Where would gender equality be if Jacobson didn’t have the strength to write social media posts and that one Medium article? We’d probably lose the right to vote, that’s where!

Dinnnerinnerinner dinnner . how do you spell that word. dinnnner

Everybody poops. Even your edgy teen.

I’m basically a pro.

You can’t risk electing a judge you can’t bribe

Hint: There’s so fucking many!

It was very much not okay in the end.

Not only are my Lincoln Log hinges fashionable they also make so many daily activities better. No longer do I have to worry about damaging my joints when I do yoga.

It’s a thing, apparently?

You’ve worked hard all week, and quite frankly, you deserve a break! That’s why we’ve created this slideshow of black and white photos of pregnant women for you to do, you know, whatever with. No need to go into detail. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy these beautiful visions of gestation in whatever manner you […]

You’ll look fabulous—no matter how many atrocities you commit!

You will reach unfathomable velocity.

What the real danger is here? A virus I specifically designed to kill 90% of the population, or the untested vaccine for it? I think you know my answer.

Don’t let disease get you down. Fight through your illness with our bold new method of denying its existence! You’ll be healthy in no time!

I mean who knows, right?

The advice for taking a big old honker of a butt plug is the same advice that’s going to help you power your bottom through your podcast’s third rebrand.

I can’t wait until one of my doctors makes an innocent mistake while adjusting the settings on the cryo-tank and it turns me into Mr. Freeze.

You heard us.

Please don’t touch me.

While It Didn’t Do Great In The States, The Film Was A Big Hit In The Republic Of Macedonia Where It Released Under The Title “Kill Ponytail Father”

It’s for the best.

As a general rule, you should never exfoliate so much that you accidentally end up brushing your teeth with your finger tips and Clinique facial scrub.

Like the say in business school, “Don’t blow your money. Let your money blow you.”

Amanda lives in Missoula, Montana, so we didn’t actually go out there to observe her morning routine firsthand even though LAX is one of the few airports that actually flies directly to Missoula because we’re scared of Republicans.

Coughing directly in your child’s face is the ecological, non-toxic, and natural way to ensure they grow healthy immune systems.

Elon Musk is his hero! I tried to explain this to them but they kept asking if I wanted to sponsor the education for some child “in need.”

“I’m in hell.”

It’s just science.

Penii? Penes? Amanda, what am I supposed to write here?

Imagine a world in which knives do not exist. Picture that world, and reach into your aged leather waist satchel for more Vicodin.

Whatever you think you know is really just the tip.

From Goat’s Milk Lavender to Honeysuckle Harmony, they tried them all. Oh God, why?

No, literally all I have left now are vibrators and cake mix.

Who says you can’t drop anchor and also be inspired?

I had tried everything.

Turns out crabs are no joke!

This always happens to me!

It’s a thing.

How else shall we absorb her powers?

It’s a simple thing, but I think it is worth it.

We’re all about the icons of the ’90s, and perhaps no one is more iconic of that simpler time than Barney the Dinosaur. We grew up alongside that taxonomically ambiguous purple creature, so it’s only natural that he also grew up alongside us. What you may not know (but, of course, we do, because we […]

Whenever more than one former Friends cast member enters the same room it is a mini Friends reunion and must be reported as such.