This Mom’s New Years Resolution Is To Get Turnt The Fuck Up
This year, my goal is to get shwiggity fuckin’ shwasted, and I can’t wait to get to it!
Relationship Advice: How Do I Get A Daddy Like Santa?
Santa is the ultimate space daddy and now you may want to get your own but stay away!
Is It Gay If My Husband Swallows A Gingerbread Man?
If my husband so much as touches a Christmas cookie again I’m leaving!
Woo Your Future Mate With The Seductive Art Of Whale Screaming
And don’t forget to buy my companion book!
Holiday Dating Hack: Just Fuck Your Cousins?
Same time, same place, same genetics. Eh, with modern dating, who has time to care about all three?
Let Go Of Toxic Relationships: Ignore The Homeless Kittens In Your Shed
When was the last time a litter of helpless newborn kittens did anything nice for YOU?
Finding Myself: Why I Joined A Gang Of Sewer-Dwelling Martial Artists
It started when I saw three mysterious figures dancing around a barrel fire in the sewer.
How To Be A ‘Cool Aunt’ Just To Get Revenge On Your Sibling
Revenge on your sibling should fuel most of your life decisions.
Forgiveness: My Husband Won’t Let me Throw A Birthday Party For My Dog
I am strong, and I can forgive. Just like Ghandi.
Panic Healing: A New Healing Method We Invented Via Typo
It’s a lot like pranic healing, but with more panic.
Make Eye Contact With The Groupon People In Your Pilates Class
At Bunny Ears we’re all about finding new ways to give back while still putting yourself first
I Won’t Breastfeed My Child, And If That Makes Me A Bad Dad, So Be It
I don’t care what you think of me. I’m not going to do it.
#MondayMotivation From Macaulay Culkin (December 2018 Edition)
Mack’s here every Monday with life advice!
Our Take On Israel/Palestine Because For Some Reason You Keep Asking
We are always happy to address questions raised by our fans, even when the issue is controversial.
Holiday Messages To Let Your Black Friend Know You Don’t See Color
“Boy, do I miss Obama! Merry X-Mas!”
The Way You Spell Hanukkah Could Determine If You’re A Sociopath
So, what’s it gonna be? You a man with a big C? Double N? What are we gonna do here
I Won’t Circumcise My Son Until He Is 18 And I Can Guilt Him Into It
It is his right to choose what I know is best for him.
Train Your Adorable New Puppy By Negging The Shit Out Of It
Teach that stupid furball to stop being such a basic bitch
I Went to The General To Save Some Time, Why Didn’t He Save My Dad in ‘nam?
He was known as The Captain back then.
Why Can’t My Son Be My Emotional Support Animal? He’s On A Leash
He’s just as untamable as any beast.
Stop Being So Goddamn Sad All The Time (And Buy My Book)
Whenever you’re about to do something, stop to think “Would a happy person do this?” If the answer is no, recalibrate your plans.
Stop Screaming At Your Kids And Let Me Do It For You!
If you’re comfortable with me telling your children to eat shit but not telling them to get fucked, I need to know that beforehand.
Goop Said “Use Blue Cocoon!” But The One In This Cave Tried To Eat Me
It was a fairly unremarkable day as a writer for Bunny Ears. I woke up around 3PM, hungover, logged into the work Slack and realized we had kidnapped one of the therapists for Goop. My position requires me to remotely contact the main office, as is typical in the current freelance gig economy. I was […]
Stop Body Shaming And Accept Yourself As You Are, Unless You’re James
Hey James, fuck you you disgusting shit. Everyone else, please learn to accept your body as it is!
Mobile Board Yoga Is Revolutionizing The Fitness And Wellness World
Mobile board yoga, the newest Hollywood fitness craze, is the real deal.
My Ideal Mate Is Still A Plural Marriage With Most Of The New Kids On The Block
Modern guys just aren’t cutting it for me.
Kelly Tries It: DIY Fecal Transplant
Better safe than sorry! Time to replace all my poop with someone else’s poop!
A Guide To Communing With Your Spirit Animal Through Our 84-inch 4K TV
Seeking a spirit animal can be hard, so we recommend this LG Electronics 84-Inch Cinema 3D 4K Ultra HD 120hz Smart TV with six pairs of 3D glasses purchased through our amazon affiliate link!
We Made Andrea Try Aerial Yoga Even Though She Begged Us To Just Let Her Work
At first, Andrea was hesitant to take our suggestion that she try aerial yoga for this article, which we respectfully acknowledged. Then she started screaming.
Bring Meaning To Your Life With This New Wellness Product
Sometimes it feels like, no matter how large your crystal collection, no matter how many organic recipes you master, it’s simply never enough to fill the void you feel tugging at your soul.
Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege
There are many ways to handle being called out by black people, so here are our favorites!
Why Does Everyone Keep Telling Me My Hunger Strike Is A Great Idea And I Should Stick To It?
I didn’t expect anyone to understand the sacrifice I was making through my hunger strike, but I really didn’t expect them to vehemently insist I keep going.
Using Small Amounts Of Products My Boyfriends Wife Has In Her Bathroom Improved My Skin
She has such good taste, and really springs for the good stuff!
How To Care For My Emotional Support Dog During My Home Water Birth
Just because it’s a DIY neopagan water birth taking place in a tiny yurt does not mean there are no rules.