How to Raise Your Boys to Be Feminists Who Also Rock at Magic
We need to teach our boys consent, mutual respect, and how to freaking rock at magic.
My Charming, Brilliant Leash Kid Should Be Able to Shit in Your Dog Park
My leash kid is on a leash. The dogs are on leashes. I don’t see the problem?
How to Listen to Your Body’s Needs Using 6 FT. of Hose and Some Lube
Self care is important. That’s why we want you to listen to your body. No, like REALLY listen to it. Know what we’re saying?
We Apologize for Endorsing Sex with Men
Having mulled over all the evidence since the dawn of time, we’ve realized that sex with men was an atrocious mistake, and we must apologize.
Sorry, but the Latest Self-Care Fad Is Letting Badgers Maul Your Genitals
Do animals put you in a better mood? Then you have to try the latest self-care trend, featuring adorable badgers! They’re cuddlier than they look!
We’ve Discovered an All-Natural Vaping Alternative Called ‘Tobacco’
This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?
If My Kids Love Me so Much, Why Won’t They Donate to My Patreon?
If My Kids Love Me So Much, Why Won’t They Donate To My Patreon
We Put A Naked Lady Doing Yoga On This Article So You Will Click
Look, we all know you only browse yoga articles because maybe you’ll see a nipple or something. Whatever.
What Bathroom Stall You Use Based On Your Myers-Brigg Personality Type
We dove deep to find out exactly where you should be pooping. You’re welcome!
All Of The Ways Your Pet Hedgehog Has A Far Better Life Than You Ever Will
Sadly, you will never be able to experience the sheer, shit-eating bliss of being somebody’s beloved pet hedgehog. What an existence.
Identity Retreats: The Best Self-Care After You’ve Witnessed A Crime
I thought my life was over when I changed my identity and was forced into hiding. But boy was I wrong
How I Used The Hinge App To Find The Smartest, Most Successful Exes
Based on my experience, these are hard rules (no exceptions) on how to catch the absolute perfect, most brilliant, driven person ever.
Build Strong Relationships With Your Coworkers By Predicting Their Deaths
Hey Janice just wanted to let you know that sweater is super cute and also cancer but you’ve got like thirty years.
Upcycle Your Dead Dad’s Porn Magazines
We know you loved Dad, but we also know you love the environment more. Use this opportunity to teach everyone about the true beauty of upcycling.
I’m Worried My Kids Aren’t Weird Enough For Homeschooling
Will they be able to keep up with all those little creeps, goobers, freak-balls and toenail chewers? I’m just not convinced.
A Day In The Life: 18 Hours With Rami Malek (Before He Escaped)
We followed Rami Malek around to see what he gets up to, and then kidnapped him!
Use Your Wedding Gift Registry To Ensure Your Guests Know You Fuck Hard
Your wedding gift registry isn’t about tradition, it’s about letting guests know you can outscrew anyone, in explicit detail!
The Most Obnoxious Ways To Come Out As Sapiosexual
Some self-described Sapiosexuals are pansexual and pretentious, but others are just pretentious. You’re smart, you fuck smart, and everyone should know it.
You Can Now Use Face/Off Technology To Explore Your Mommy Issues
I tried out this new Face/Off procedure so I could see what I could learn about my childhood in order to be able to exploit it for an internet article. Here is what I learned.
We Hired An Expert To Smell Our Farts
We believe in being introspective and learning about ourselves. That’s why we hired serious professionals to smell our farts.
What’s Up With French Penises? An Exclusive Bunny Ears Investigation
We bought ourselves some gold-studded berets and launched a full-scale investigation. Yes, we were going to discover the true form of the French penis.
Apply Early! These Preschools Are So Exclusive They Don’t Allow Children
Or do you hate your children too much help them succeed?
Inspirational Feminist Quotes From Women Driven To Suicide By The Patriarchy
They’re so inspirational!
I’m Beginning To Worry Our Nanny Isn’t Really My Ex-Husband In Disguise
Is it possible I jumped the gun?
‘Netflix And Chill’ Options For Letting Him Know You’re Into Pegging
But how can a gal turn her “Netflix and Chill” event into a fully-blown strap-attack? Here are some helpful movies and shows to get you started…
Spring Scents That Will Drive Him Deep Into A Depressive Episode
Ladies, these spring perfumes will strongly remember him of springs from long ago AND send him into a downward spiral over deep feelings of loss.
Shower Sex Positions That Only Work If Your Turn-On Is Waterboarding
Remember, your sex life doesn’t need to follow the Geneva Convention, so just have fun with it!
Why We Limit Our Children To One Hour Of Good Parenting A Day
Are our kids spending too much time plopped in front of their families, growing lazy from all that unconditional love? Heck yes!
I Gave Up Everything To Live In A Tiny House In My Mom’s Basement
It feels good to unplug from society. It’s almost like Walden Pond, because Henry David Thoreau also had his mom nearby to help him out if he ever needed anything, like the password for the wifi.
These Credit Cards Relieve Menstrual Cramps And Fix Your Hair
If Dick Cheney had a period the Iraq war would have never been started because he would be too busy going to the hospital every full moon.
Find A Therapist That Won’t Disagree With You
You aren’t paying all that money for someone to tell you you are wrong!
Revive Your Marriage In Three Easy Steps and $15 Million in Gold Bullion
Your marriage is more like gold than you think, which is why you should invest in both your love and this incredibly stable currency form TODAY!
Our Favorite Articles By The Women Of Bunny Ears
Each author on this list is more talented than all the men here combined.
Stick-And-Poke Tats Are The New Face-Painting At Your Kids’ Parties!
Move over Fudgy the Whale, crude needle poke tattoos are the new big children’s party must-have of the year!
Ways To Cope When You Discover Your S.O. Has A Job, Not A Trust Fund
That’s right—working isn’t just for poor people.