Spiritual Wellness

Did they do ANY research?

I Drink Water From A River. Hello. My name is Piper Jackson, and every morning I wake up and drink real river water. Yes, you read that right: I drink water from a river. River water- real river water– is the purest form of H2O you can get. There are no chemicals added to it, […]

Bees are dying and we need to save them to maintain the human food supply and let me use their stingers to trip balls on the regular.

We as a society have spent far more time nurturing our physical health than our mental wellness. For decades, even whispering the words “anxiety journal” could earn a person a bunch of raised eyebrows and an un-invitation to Vicki’s gender reveal party. But times have changed! Mental healthcare is not only embraced and encouraged, it’s […]

Acquiring oral herpes is one of the most exciting periods in life, and one of the most thrilling moments in this very special journey is sharing the good news with your family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. People used to just find out they had herpes at the doctor, and that was it. Over the past few […]

Growing up, my mother was one of my idols. She was beautiful, strong, busy (always very, very busy), but that’s also why she was so successful with her elbow modeling business. She has such delicate elbows (and so smooth, too). While Mother was traveling the world, rubbing those famous elbows with the Hollywood elite, my […]

Risk doesn’t have to be the only game that tears families apart! With a little manipulating even checkers can have your kiddos start a lifelong rivalry that’ll jumpstart them to greatness!

As a trendsetter, you grow accustomed to learning new things in surprising places. I wouldn’t be the daring style icon I am today if I weren’t ready to adopt fashion ideas from, say, nature, or unexpected encounters with people below my income bracket, or even the various diverse cultures that my ancestors helped to oppress. […]

My daughter, Willow, has always been a free spirit. She loves to explore and solve problems on her own. I know every mother thinks their child is brilliant, but when she broke the time record at her Montessori school’s escape room, I knew I had a child who could handle herself. I first heard about […]

He’s not a crime solving ghost, or a prophetic warning ghost. He’s just a cheap ghost.

Can affluent moms ever catch a break? Between running your charities, maintaining perfect abs after childbirth, and crafting your own line of cruelty-free makeup from berries and charcoal, there’s hardly any time left to be a #BossBitch at motherhood. Hiring an au pair to take care of your exceptionally above-average child is a great solution […]

Because you don’t need it.

Here at Bunny Ears, we know that keeping up the required skin care routine is a real time investment. By law, the time we spend cleansing, toning, moisturizing, massaging, milking, praying, ritual dancing, and on and on can feel like such a waste. We’d much rather spend that time growing our careers and spending time […]

To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese!

You’re not cheating. You’re simply engaging in sexual acts with people outside your marriage without telling your partner about it. And that’s different. There’s a different label on it. And a book. And a website. So it’s fine.

Hear me out, I don’t like the taste of piss. But I do like how it makes me appear interesting.

Theodore Roosevelt, Genghis Khan, Gandhi, the Buddha — all proud nose breathers, pal.

“You do you!”

When early ape arose from the shore of our great ocean womb, no longer could we protect our monkey eggs from the harshness of a dry environment. It was then that our vestigial tail bud tissue formed the pulpy genitalia we so cherish today. For snakes, this process involved unused limb flesh being repurposed into […]

My friends are often surprised to find out that I won’t move in with a guy until I’ve got a ring or at least an understanding that we are a couple. Sure, it’s a little old fashioned, but it’s what works for me. I’m not some stuffy agony aunt trying to tell you what to […]

Hi Everyone! I’m Dandelion, but you can call me Dan D., and I’m your Color of the Month! (In Memoriam) That’s right, I don’t exist anymore, according to Crayola. According to my former employer, I “retired” last year. Bullshit. I was replaced, after 27 years of dedicated service to the crayon industry, by some young […]

And yes, that’s why I took this job at Bunny Ears

Guys, wedding speeches are the worst, am I right? We’ve all had to sit through some mediocre, if not humiliating, toasts throughout the years, and I’m sure we’ll have to sit through many more. Fortunately, my toast won’t be one of them, as- believe it or not- it’s the culmination of a 20 year revenge […]

We all need a dose of inspiration now and then, and nothing helps us continue to live life to the fullest like epic inspirational stories of someone absolutely rocking their spiritual side. These particular stories inspired us so much that we couldn’t face it if we found out they weren’t true, so we didn’t bother to […]

We can approximate Muppet genitals based on their design with the following colorful sex toys clearly designed to simulate Muppintercourse.

I make sure my child’s creativity stays strong and vibrant by keeping him in an empty room.

Bunny Ears Editor-In-Chief Shawn DePasquale asked me to attend several yoga classes after I complained that I was feeling very stressed out. The one caveat was that I had to purchase a journal and record my thoughts on the process.  So I bought this $375 handmade large luxury leather-bound journal to record my insights that […]

Oh, sure, everyone always gets sooooo excited for summer. A smorgasbord of fashionable outdoor festivals, sipping mai-tais on elegant beach-side patios, entirely new ways of getting judged by your body  – what’s not to love? Your kids, for one thing. Did it occur to you that your kids are going to be home all day, for […]

Hey there, pal. You seem like a cool dude, brother. You know, I’ve seen a lot of cool, tough guys in my time, so I know a real dude when I see him. But I also know that it’s hard out there for cool, hip boys who are just trying to hang ten with the […]

  Love yourself like you recently met yourself, have been dating successfully for a month and have been banging yourself nonstop.

No, you’re not crazy – if you’ve got a bad feeling it’s happening, then your spouse probably is cheating on you with a circus clown.

Raising a child is arguably harder than it’s ever been. The modern world contains countless dangers that can stunt a child’s development, from processed foods to television to vaccines. And the cost of finding safe alternatives can add up in a hurry—but don’t despair! We’re here to explain how you can affordably raise your child […]

Watching porn on the bus doesn’t make me weird. It makes me a sex positive revolutionary on the front lines in the war between prudishness and pleasure.

Nothing says alibi like, “Look — it’s two different species of fern!”

Nothing says, “I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to lose my marriage” like vaguely-Asian pot stickers.

I hope they let me play myself in the movie version of this story.

Have you ever looked at your human body and thought “Ew, this lumbering carcass that encases my intellect is much too large and bothersome”? Well, with my revolutionary three-step method, you’ll see the pounds melt away in just three minutes. Many advertisers promise to give you less body quickly and with minimal effort, but no […]

Being ethical can be tricky. On the one hand, I think consuming any product (including milk) made from the labor or bodies of animals is immoral. And on the other hoof, part of my lifestyle is dressing up as my fursona, a pink cow named “Moonica.” And therein lies the rub: can I breastfeed my […]

As busy mom and business owner, I often need a pick me up throughout the day. Most of the time, this comes in the form of the pearl-infused matcha latte at the corner shop, but some days, the creamy green goodness just isn’t working. Thankfully, around three months ago, I found a vice that really […]

Sometimes your pegasus is a god damn pegadick.

When someone you care about dies, it’s vital to keep the focus on what really matters: YOU!

Is that so much to ask?

Ahoy, there, mateys! If you’ve got your spyglass trained on a rough-handed mariner, this article is for you. But don’t wait too long! We just saw a red sky this morning, although we probably would have called the color “Cape Cod cranberry” or “peasant blood.” You better get a-tapping before the waters get choppier than […]