Tag Archives: Spiritual Wellness
How To Use Healing Crystals To Cure Your Cancer (Maybe? Don’t Quote Us)
There’s no denying that healing crystals have incredible power.1 But just how far does this power go? We’ve used and endorsed crystals to cure headaches, colds, and other common aliments,2 but today we’re here to tell you that, when applied correctly, crystals can do so much more.3 They can even help you overcome cancer, as …
Continue reading “How To Use Healing Crystals To Cure Your Cancer (Maybe? Don’t Quote Us)”
How to Find a Yoga Teacher Who Isn’t Dating Your Ex
One important aspect of starting a yoga practice is finding a teacher who hasn’t doggied downward with your ex. This can be surprisingly difficult. But never fear, a good yoga practice can be done anywhere (for instance, on your ex’s dick). You want to have a good connection with your yoga teacher. And not a …
Continue reading “How to Find a Yoga Teacher Who Isn’t Dating Your Ex”
How To Maintain a Minimalist Lifestyle in NYC As If You Had A Fucking Choice
Minimalism is a design aesthetic with a long and rich history. I assume. I didn’t actually research it, because I only have fifteen minutes to write this article. If I don’t put in a 10-hour shift on Wipr (an app you really don’t want more information about) I’ll lose my “Golden” status and my $5 weekly …
Continue reading “How To Maintain a Minimalist Lifestyle in NYC As If You Had A Fucking Choice”
How I Attained Enlightenment By Hostilely Taking Over A Health Food Grocery Chain
Giving Americans the opportunity to eat better for less wasn’t just a long-term professional goal—it was a spiritual mission, and it can be achieved through volunteer work or charitable donations. Or you could do like I did: Take a shortcut by buying out a health food grocery chain owned by my former college roommate, Chip …
Continue reading “How I Attained Enlightenment By Hostilely Taking Over A Health Food Grocery Chain”
The Bunny Ears Guide to Living Out of Your Luxury Car
I’ve been to the bottom, man. Last night was the fourth straight evening I spent catching z’s in my vehicle. Granted, it’s happened to the best of us, especially us common folk who refuse handouts and breadcrumbs from the 1%. But it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’ve …
Continue reading “The Bunny Ears Guide to Living Out of Your Luxury Car”
Do I Still Have To Have My Dick Out For Harambe?
Hey, so, this is kind of a weird question, but do I still have to have my dick out for Harambe? I’ve had it out all this time, but is that a thing we’re all still doing? Or did we accomplish … uh, whatever it was we were trying to accomplish? It was awareness for …
Continue reading “Do I Still Have To Have My Dick Out For Harambe?”
Are You Really A Psychic Medium? Find Out Right Now!
Most Americans are boring, ordinary muggles with a tragic inability to do anything cool like talk to dead people, move things with their mind, or recognize how funny I am on Twitter. However, a tiny fraction of us have “the gift.” You might have the gift already and not even know it. All you need now …
Continue reading “Are You Really A Psychic Medium? Find Out Right Now!”
Get Fit By Being Constantly On the Run From Your Future Self
For some people, health scares, tragedies, or life-changing experiences are the last straw before we take the initiative to better our personal health. However, the rest of us all know that the key to living healthier than ever is paved with the fear of assassination from your evil future self. Whether they’re trying to take …
Continue reading “Get Fit By Being Constantly On the Run From Your Future Self”
I Thought I Was Detoxing But It Was Actually Sepsis
I haven’t exactly been feeling my best lately – low energy, dull skin tone, regular menstruation, etc. All the signs that a good old-fashioned cleanse was in order. To celebrate, I went over to my tattoo artist’s house and got myself some new ink made from only the finest all-natural organic vegetable oils and flower …
Continue reading “I Thought I Was Detoxing But It Was Actually Sepsis”
Dog Yoga + Human Butt Sniffing: Bonding With Man’s Best Friend
You think about your dog. Of course you do. Their cute little button nose. Their thin yet powerful haunches. But do you actually think about your dog? No one else is there for you like your pupper is. Nobody else lights up when you enter the room after being gone for just five damn minutes. …
Continue reading “Dog Yoga + Human Butt Sniffing: Bonding With Man’s Best Friend”
I Spent A Year Taking Only Sound Baths And Here’s What Happened
In an effort to preserve water and single-handedly save the entire state of California, I’ve been seeking out alternatives to wasteful aquatic baths. My dear friend Sheila told me about something called “sound baths” at our last solstice circle, and I was eager to hear more. I decided to invite Sheila over for some crabgrass …
Continue reading “I Spent A Year Taking Only Sound Baths And Here’s What Happened”
I Shadowed My Dog For A Day And Here Are The Lessons I Learned
I’m on a path towards self-discovery. What is happiness? How can I live my best life? Should I have a mantra? To find these answers — and so much more — I decided to shadow someone I admire. Someone who demands both love and respect. Someone my parents are proud to call their own. I’m of …
Continue reading “I Shadowed My Dog For A Day And Here Are The Lessons I Learned”
We Contacted Marilyn Monroe’s Ghost, And TBH She Was Kind Of A Drag
It’s an age-old question: If you could have dinner with any famous person, living or dead, who would it be? For a lot of women living that #blessed Hollywood lifestyle, the answer is obviously Marilyn Monroe. Not only was she talented, intelligent, and troubled, she probably has some bomb makeup tips. Well, for those of …
Continue reading “We Contacted Marilyn Monroe’s Ghost, And TBH She Was Kind Of A Drag”
How To Get Over Your Unemployment Blues (In Luxury)
We have all been there. You just got laid off from your job and you are feeling a little blue about it. Even during a dark time like being unemployed you have to remember that self care is very important. You may be rapidly running out of funds, but if you don’t feel great about …
Continue reading “How To Get Over Your Unemployment Blues (In Luxury)”
Avian Toast: Making Bread From Live Birds
Avian toast was created out of necessity to take control of my diet as well as controlling my urge to throttle anything anytime the news is on. Being from the South brings its own set of standards; I’m self-reliant, rustic, and there’s nothing I enjoy more than breaking bread with family and friends. I can …
Continue reading “Avian Toast: Making Bread From Live Birds”
5 Face Masks To Cleanse The Sins of Your Past Lives
Skincare is all the rage and has been for centuries. Most of us apply a myriad of products to our face on a daily basis to maintain a soft, youthful glow. However, if you’ve found yourself stuck with skin that doesn’t want to change no matter what serum, cream, or emulsion you try, it’s possible …
Continue reading “5 Face Masks To Cleanse The Sins of Your Past Lives”
I Read The Secret and Now I Can’t Control Which Thoughts I Manifest
You’ve no doubt heard of The Secret, the 2006 best-selling self-help book endorsed by Oprah, Good Housekeeping, and the lady who reads tarot cards on the boardwalk for five bucks. Millions of readers’ lives have been changed by learning about the law of attraction and how to manifest whatever they want in their lives through …
Continue reading “I Read The Secret and Now I Can’t Control Which Thoughts I Manifest”
People To Quietly Rage Against While You Pretend To Be Meditating
Hey, sometimes you just need a moment (or 20) to silently seethe with rage, aka a classic secret anger meditation. We get it! But in this world of endless d-bags, it can be super hard to choose exactly who to direct your bottomless anger meditation at. And that’s exactly why we’ve compiled this handy list …
Continue reading “People To Quietly Rage Against While You Pretend To Be Meditating”
Religious Awakening: I Saw A Coyote Today
[Editor’s Note: This article has been edited to be as racially sensitive as possible. Many of the words have been changed to be more inclusive. The views expressed are of the individual, and do not reflect the views of the site as a whole.] This morning I was driving along, and a coyote stopped in front …
Continue reading “Religious Awakening: I Saw A Coyote Today”
My Crystal Altar Was RUINED by My Mother-In-Law
Dear Serendipity, My husband and I have a very loving and communicative relationship. There’s just one problem. His mother interferes with EVERYTHING. This weekend she was over for a visit, and when I came into the sunroom, I caught her REARRANGING the crystals on my crystal altar. As you covered in your response to Dear …
Continue reading “My Crystal Altar Was RUINED by My Mother-In-Law”
Life Lessons I Learned From The Feral Children Living In The Woods Behind My Home
As a trendsetter, you grow accustomed to learning new things in surprising places. I wouldn’t be the daring style icon I am today if I weren’t ready to adopt fashion ideas from, say, nature, or unexpected encounters with people below my income bracket, or even the various diverse cultures that my ancestors helped to oppress. …
Continue reading “Life Lessons I Learned From The Feral Children Living In The Woods Behind My Home”

