Lifestyle

Whatever you think you know is really just the tip.

With the right team of professionals, your child can avoid any and all consequences.

You know, for the health benefits.

We’re standing up for what’s right.

From Goat’s Milk Lavender to Honeysuckle Harmony, they tried them all. Oh God, why?

Because why shouldn’t they learn from your fears?

Who says you can’t drop anchor and also be inspired?

Yes, if you long for a really fuzzy pair of hands around your throat these amazing winter turtlenecks are the perfect way to blend your kink with your couture!

You probably wouldn’t even know what to do if you did get into one anyway.

The bros got Vince through eight seasons and one movie.

I had tried everything.

Get that guy fired—your way.

Turns out crabs are no joke!

It’s not hard to make these small changes in your life, it just takes a little planning and a TON of constant anxiety.

This always happens to me!

Wow! This is the hardest task I’ve ever tried to tackle for Bunny Ears you guys.

Be prepared to pay one billion dollars for that second checked bag, because things are about to get crazy.

It’s a thing.

For me, it started small. It was a beanie that looked like a dick.

Yes, even seventeen months after they died in that tragic safari giraffe stampede accident.

(Jerking off outside.)

Whenever more than one former Friends cast member enters the same room it is a mini Friends reunion and must be reported as such.

Does she ever pretend to choke you?

There has to be a head transplant list by now, right?

Have you heard of Tanzania? We hadn’t!

There was no way you were really going to “Travel More” this year.

Even if the people who own the zoo keep telling you to please stop doing that.

No one else feels lonely. Ever. It’s just you, the person reading this piece right now.

The toilet is where the pee-pee and poops leave your body,

You’re going to die and nobody has a clue how it’s going to go down.

The question job applicants dread.

Have you guys ever tried antibiotics?!

Yes, we SPIT in our purses!

Hear me out.

I don’t really know how I ended up in Night Vale. No one here does. One day, you just find yourself there.

Shhhhh.

A good doula is duty-bound to help you do things your way!

Everyone loves Jane. No one likes me. So, Jane seemed like the perfect resolution.

People are fickle and disappointing, but objects last forever.

It won’t be long before your child starts to crave the dark. No more crying when you put them to bed!

So I Can Thrive On Just Grass?